Sexuality's Labyrinth
by Conquestrivez
Summary: Camera pans to focus on Umeda Hokuto! How can a girl win his heart? What complications arise? This does contain 1 OC but i think she's way cooler than Mizuki, no offence. The interesting part starts in Chap 3 and there's a twist in Chap 5! Plz Enjoy!
1. Chap 1  Love's Idea

A/N(start): I know some of you don't like OC stories but I have worked **really hard** on this story and it is a very thoroughly developed one too! It has a deep meaning to it as you read further into the story. How, despite one's sexuality, love is always possible so long as persistence is kept; and also how true love need not words to express.

In my story the main characters are Hiroi Jacquetsu (Hee-roy Ja-kaet-sue) and Umeda Hokuto. Jacquetsu's family have always been good friends with Taiki Kayashima's family and so for a long time, only Taiki knew Jacquetsu's identity within the school.

In the beginning, Jacquetsu has just returned from France… (her given name was actually Jacqueline Hiroi – her parents were both from Japan but they met in France and had Jacqueline) …and she and her parents were temporarily living with Taiki's family until they buy a decent home nearby. Just to fit in, her name was modified to Jacquetsu and a decision is yet to be made about which school she will be enrolled in.

Alright, I'll have more notes next time as I remember stuff that are unexplained! Enjoy the story and feed me honest and inspiring reviews!!!

**Chapter 1:**

_I won't give up… I'll make this possible… Wait for me, Hokuto_

Standing at the front gate of Ohsaka Gakuen, Jacquetsu's long fair hair was swaying in the breeze; it was here, whilst waiting for her friend, that she caught her first glance of Umeda Hokuto.

There was definitely something in his stance, his demeanour, his voice and his smile that captured Jacq's heart.

"H-he seems like the perfect guy for me," thought Jacq.

When Taiki (the ghost-seeing guy) came out to meet Jacq, she enquired about the tall guy walking around the school.

"Oh, that's Umeda Hokuto. He's our school doctor."

Jacq gazed after Hokuto and emitted a loving aura soon sensed by Taiki.

"Errr… Just to warn you Jacq… Umeda is gay. It's best not to waste your efforts on winning his heart because it will all be in vain."  
Suddenly, the loving aura was withdrawn, only to be replaced by a shocked and confused one.

"What?!! He's gay??... No! It can't be… he can't be gay!"

-----P-----

Jacq couldn't eat much that evening and made an apology to Taiki's mother before heading off to her room. She closed the door behind her and paced the room.

"Why? Why is my life so unfortunate? When I was in France, every guy I liked eventually left me because they preferred a French girl. Now that I'm back in my home-country, the first guy I admire turns out to be gay!!!"

Jacq let out a squeal of frustration and slumped on her bed.

Suddenly she sat up with an idea.

"Wait! If he doesn't like girls then I will enroll into Ohsaka Gakuen as a boy and slowly draw him to me. Perhaps he will hate me when he finds out I'm a girl… but I'll deal with that when the time comes!"

_Knock, knock_

"Who is it?"

"It's Taiki"

"Come in then!"

"What's wrong? You usually have a good appetite… Has it got something to do with that doctor?"

"Being Taiki, you sure know everything."

"I do my best."

"Taiki, I… Do you think it'd be a good idea if I enrol as a boy into your school?"

"Don't be ridiculous, your parents would never agree!"

"Leave them to me. Just tell me if you think it's a good idea or not."

"….If you think Umeda will be unaware of your true identity, you're wrong. He has great intuition being a homosexual and he'll find you out as soon as he looks at you."

"….But I must have him! I know I sound reckless loving someone after only seeing them once, but I have great intuition too! And I know that he is the one for me!"

Taiki sighed and pondered over this predicament.

"….There is a way…But it'll take time and effort to achieve this ability."

"You know me Taiki…. I can do anything once I set my heart on it."

"This task would be impossible for every other girl but…you've always possessed a bit of male aura ever since I met you when we were still children. It has weakened over the years but I can still sense it. What you need to do now is to seal-off your female aura and bring out the male aura that you once possessed. The key is to avoid all female-type behaviours and try to think and act like a guy. Eventually, your female aura will become hidden and your male aura will emerge from its lair."

"Do I really have some male aura within me?"

"Yes, it's just a bit hidden now that you've grown up. But it is still there."

"….Alright, then I'll do it!"

-----P-----

Over the next 2 months of the school holidays, Jacq underwent a 24-hour training scheme with Taiki. Everytime she said things like "Oh my!" or "Wanna go shopping?" Taiki would give her an 'alert glance' as a warning and correct it to "Gosh!" and "I'm going out to buy some sports gear, wanna come?" The way Jacq walked, talked and the gestures she used were all corrected by Taiki. No rest was granted even at night when Taiki taught Jacq how to dream like a guy so that even in her sleep, no one would notice her female aura unless they came very close to her and actually 'sought' her female aura.

The training paid off and only after the short time of 2 months, Jacq's female aura became undetectable even by Taiki and when Taiki observed Jacq as she slept, he could only detect the suppressed aura when he was less than 30 cm from her. Now all that's left is to buy some tight vests and get a boyish haircut…..Transformation Complete!!!

After a heated argument with her parents, Jacq's father finally relented and her mother, being a romantic idealist, even began to think this was an exciting scheme.

They were to enrol her in a week's time as Hiroi Jacquetsu and hope that Jacq's roommate will be a casual and oblivious sort of guy.

Will all turn out well on the first day?? Let's hope so!!!

A/N(end): That's the first Chapter! I hope you liked the OC and look forward to my submission of Chapter 2!

Please feed me reviews!!! They shall inspire me!!!


	2. Chap 2 Exposed?

**Chapter 2:**

"Taiki!! Can you please help me find my vests? I seem to have lost them!"

"I saw you trying one on just yesterday! God! I don't have time for this! We're going to be late!"

"I know! I was planning on arriving early to get the dorm head to assign me a room. Guess I'll have to wait till recess…"

After a catastrophic morning, Jacq and Taiki arrived just in time for first period and the teacher introduced Jacquetsu to everyone (be nice boys, just because he's a foreigner, doesn't mean you can harass and intimidate him).

Jacq's heart was pounding the whole time as her 'aura suppressing' abilities were put to the test for the first time.

"God, please let them detect nothing…" thought Jacq.

As soon as recess arrived, Jacq sprang up to find the dorm head to sort out her room but was stopped by a guy in her class.

"Hi, I'm Shuichi Nakatsu. You're cute Hiroi. Your face is like that of a girl, can I call you Jacq?"

Jacq's face stiffened in a strange mid-smile as her heart skipped a beat. (Oh no! Have I been found out already???? My dreams, my plans! All ruined by this stupid bleach-hair guy!!!!!)

"What's the matter? Are you over-ecstatic or something?"

"N-n-no, it's not that…. Sure, you can call me Jacq," she stuttered after regaining her voice.

"So we're friends?"

"Of course! Umm, I need to find the dorm head, could you help me?"

"That's what friends are for, right?" smiled Nakatsu.

Taiki watched them leave the classroom. "Should I go with them? …Nah, Nakatsu is a thick-headed guy; he'd be the last person to suspect anything. Or at least I hope so…"

-----P-----

Carrying her luggage from Taiki's home to the dorms was no easy task, even with Taiki's help it took almost 2 hours before everything was sorted and put in place.

"Phew! I never thought moving from a house to a dorm could be so stressful!"

"I know. I like the holidays because I can go back to my house and stay with my parents. Now that school has started again, I need to come back to the dorms too. It's such a hassle!"

"Is Nakatsu a nice person?"

"Speaking of him… he is the best person you could get as your roommate. He is an open and carefree sort of guy. I can't believe your luck! Even with my powers I couldn't detect anything suspicious from you today, let alone a guy like him! Just keep up the good work and I wish you luck with Umeda!"

"Thanks for everything Taiki. I couldn't have done this without you!"

"Don't mention it. Just don't come running to me in tears if something goes wrong!"

"Well, we'll see about that! Good night Taiki!" chuckled Jacq.

Just then Nakatsu came into the room and said he'd just been to Sano's room looking for Taiki because he wanted to borrow Taiki's thesaurus. They both went out of the room, leaving Jacq just enough time to change into her pajamas before Nakatsu came back with the book.

"Going to sleep already Jacq?"

"Yeah, it's been a long day for me. I'll sleep now… Oya-su-mi"

"Oya-su-mi!"

-----P-----

An hour later, as Nakatsu was climbing up to the top bunk, he had a sour feeling in his chest. It felt strange and yet stimulating. "What was that??"

Nakatsu looked down at the sleeping Jacq and had the same feeling again… He gulped and took a long, hard stare at Jacq's face.

"He really does look like a girl. But from his stance and way of talking, he is definitely a guy. Then… why am I having these strange feelings?"

Then Nakatsu did the one thing that Taiki feared. He bent right down and closed the gap between himself and Jacq until they were inches apart.

Nakatsu's chest muscles cringed violently as that sour feeling was quadrupled! "What is wrong with me?? It couldn't be that I'm…..that I'm…. gay!???"

Little did he know that after such a nerve-racking day, Jacq couldn't keep up her night-time 'aura suppression' very well and thus, Nakatsu was experiencing these strange reactions to her.

"I'm not gay! I'm not gay!"

Thus, the night ended with Nakatsu in a state of turmoil and confusion. Outside, the crickets clicked their song, completely oblivious to Nakatsu's sleepless night.

A/N(end): How did you like Chapter 2? Please give me your opinion! I'm dying from the suspense you are holding me in!!!! I presume I should get onto Umeda in the next chapter, so please look forward to it!!

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For those of you from DailyManga, give me your opinion by Replying to the Thread there. Don't bother signing up here (too much hassle). Thanks in advance! I greatly appreciate ur opinions!!!


	3. Chap 3 First Meeting

A/N(start): In consideration to a reviewer's query… Sano and Mizuki are somewhat included in this story and as in Hana Kimi, they share a room. Taiki (or Kayashima) doesn't share a room with anyone (lets just say he has a room of his own which will later become useful for Jacq). I'll make something interesting happen between Mizuki and Jacq in this chapter, but keep in mind that my focus is on how Jacq and Umeda will progress!! (hee hee – laughs slyly).

**Chapter 3:**

_I must see Hokuto today! I must!_

This was the one thought on Jacq's mind as she made her way to the dining hall, ready to make new friends and learn the ways of her new school life.

"Hey! Wait up!" called Nakatsu from behind

"Oh! Sorry I didn't wait for you. I'm starving!"

"You seem to have a good appetite considering your small build!"

_Oh god! He's saying things that make me nervous again! Does he know? I hope nothing suspicious happened last night!_

-----P-----

Jacq was intoxicated as she entered the dining hall; the smell of Japanese food wrapped around her and lingered there. It was a long time since she had last had a real Japanese meal (since Taiki's mother had tried to cook French food just for her while she was staying at their house).

"MM-mmm! Delicieux! J'ai très faim!!!"

"What?"

"Err… sorry Nakatsu. Just bear with me when I speak French. I just said delicious! I'm very hungry! that's all."

"Oh, I see…. Hey! There's Sano, Mizuki and Taiki over at that table! We'll join them after ordering our breakfast shall we?"

_BreakfastBreakfast!!! _(Unfortunately, Jacq's mind was too preoccupied to listen to anything at that moment).

After ordering three full plates of food (something that only Nakatsu used to be able to boast about), Jacq joined the circle of friends and started eating like a famished feline. Everyone at the table (including Sano) simply gaped at Jacq's enormous appetite.

"I was really shocked too when Jacq was staying at my house this summer; but I've sorta gotten used to it now…" Taiki laughed.

"J-j-jacq! Don't eat so quickly, you might choke yourself!" stammered Nakatsu.

"Waa? Zis is fas? I call zis normal spee!"

_Oh well, this will just make her seem more manly I suppose_ thought Taiki.

-----P-----

After only 20 minutes, not a single trace of food was found on Jacq's plates as she practically licked them clean like a cat. As she took a huge breath and released it with satisfaction, she noticed Mizuki for the first time.

_Oh my god! He looks even more like a girl than I do! Wait a minute…let me test him!!_

"Hi! I never really got to know you. Are you Mizuki Ashiya? I'm Jacquetsu Hiroi, but you can call me Jacq!"

"Hi! Nice to meet you Jacq!"

As they shook hands, Jacq vaguely saw a strong feminine aura radiating from Mizuki! After enduring 2 months of harsh training with Taiki, Jacq somehow acquired the ability to clearly distinguish between the characteristics of each sex and even surprised herself as she froze with the realisation that Mizuki was a girl in disguise as well!

"W-what's the matter Jacq? You're grasping my hand a bit long…"

"G-g-gome! I-I-I was just spacing out for a moment. Sorry about that, Mizuki."

"That's ok," smiled Mizuki.

_My goodness! He – I mean – she really is a girl! What's she doing here? …Then again, perhaps she is pursuing someone too? Could it be that Sano guy beside her?_

"Taiki," said Jacq "could I talk to you for a minute?"

-----P-----

Walking along the corridor leading out from the dining hall, Taiki spoke first…

"You found out just by touching her hand didn't you? You've become pretty skilled!"

"I couldn't believe how I did it myself but I definitely felt a feminine aura from him – I mean – her! Is she pursuing a guy as well? Who is he?"

"My god! Your intuition and 6th sense is really accurate! You've still got a long way to go to reach my level but you're not bad, Jacq!"

"Thanks. But who is it?"

"I have my suspicions that it's Sano. What do you think?"

"I think so too! Wow! I can't believe my 6th sense is this good! You're right, I still have a long way to go. You can see auras without contact; I have to physically touch that person to see/feel it. But it is still a good start! It's all thanks to you of course!"

"That's true, but no matter how good the teacher, if the pupil has no talent, then it's no use!"

"Thanks for the compliment! Oh! I almost forgot! I made a promise to myself to see Umeda today! Taiki, what would be a good excuse to see a doctor?"

"Isn't it obvious? You can either hurt yourself or get ill! ... Just kidding! Hmmm… considering that you may want a long-term confrontation with him…I suggest you go to him every now and then for counselling. You know, where you just talk over problems with the doctor. That's what I think anyway."

"I was thinking the same thing! But I thought you may have a better idea. Well, I guess great minds think alike!"

"Don't get too full of yourself Jacq! You still have lots to learn!"

"Hai! Mon petit sensei! That means my little teacher, bear with me when I mix French into my sentences."

"Yeah, alright. You still have 20 minutes before classes start. Go now if you want."

"Nah, I'll wait till lunchtime! I'll have more time."

-----P-----

_I can't believe I'm not the only girl in this school! However, I think I'm more like a guy than she is! I don't think she did any training at all! Oh well, I wish her luck in getting Sano and cross my fingers that Hokuto will eventually be mine, no matter what the cost! Gosh! Why won't lunchtime arrive any quicker???_

As soon as the bell rang for lunch, Jacq rushed out to the dining hall to grab 2 large sandwiches and then dashed to Umeda's office (after getting lost once or twice).

_Knock_

"Come in!" replied Umeda with a somewhat impatient voice.

Jacq drew in a big breath to calm herself and opened the door…

She froze as the sight of her beloved doctor engulfed her. _Wow! Still as seductive and sexy as ever! My own Hokuto! Well, not yet, but he will be! Let the ultimate test begin!!!!!!!!_

"Hi Umeda sensei! I'm Jacquetsu Hiroi! I just came back from France. I'll be visiting you every now and then to discuss my personal problems with you. Is that alright?"

"Personal problems? Of what kind? Is it love? Sports?"

"Err… mainly love I suppose… I'm new here, so having counselling really helps me get used to this new school life… can you oblige me?"

"Alright, alright. So what are we going to talk about today?" he impatiently agreed.

As Jacq sat down on a chair beside Umeda, her heart raced as she prayed that Umeda's great intuition will not see through her identity. Mizuki may have been easy to expose, but she had gone through so much to get here, she had confidence that she wouldn't be as easily found out!

"Well, let us start with the guy I like – "

"Oh! So you're gay?"

"Err… yeah, you could say that…" _let me just go with the flow_

"Ok, please continue…"

"He is… proud, impatient and older than me… but deep down, I think he is quite a fragile, gentle and maybe even a loving person."

As Jacq talked, her every word was targeting Umeda's personality; Umeda did not notice this and simply did what a doctor would do… listen, write down notes on the patient's record book, and give some professional opinion/advice.

-----P-----

Jacq smiled as she observed Umeda's focused expression when taking down what she was saying. Many thoughts crossed her mind as she continued to speak, but one thought dominated them all………

_How many weeks or months will it take before he realises who I'm referring to? Oh Hokuto! Listen carefully to my words! Listen to my heart and yearning! I will love you in the way that one 'person' loves another. I won't love you as a man or a woman; because this is the only way I can love you right now if I am to gain your forgiveness in the future. _

_When my identity is exposed you will reject me when you know I'm a girl; but if I love you as a 'person' then hopefully, even when I'm exposed, you won't reject me because I'll make you realise that __**love is love**_

_No matter what your sexuality is, I will make you understand that when you love someone deeply, you shall no longer care what their gender is because, as I said, __**love is love**__…it can take many forms! It can take ANY form!_

_I will make you love me as a person; someone you will treasure; someone that you can't separate from even if you tried! _

_I will succeed! I must!!!!!!_

_------------------_

A/N(end): Phew!!! I hope you liked my 'complex' Chap3 ending! It took a lot of thought and energy from me!!!!! Next chapter will be even more interesting with more Jacq&Umeda scenes! I'm really getting into this story now! I absolutely love it!!! (sorry for praising my own work 'blush-blush')

Also, do you guys mind the occasional French that I slot in? (I used to learn French so I still remember some phrases).

Ok!!! FEED ME REVIEWS PLEASE!!!!!! I'm aching for more!!!!!


	4. Chap 4  Change!

**Chapter 4:**

_He seems like such a cold person. He hardly smiles and treats me with so little patience… Was I wrong to choose him? Was my intuition wrong? No… I will be persistent… Slowly but surely, I can transform him to something more gentle and more loving. I __**will**__ make him mine…_

-----P-----

"So… how was your meeting with Umeda yesterday?"

"I don't think I made much progress yesterday. He was so cold and indifferent to me. He hardly even looked at me! But don't worry Taiki… I have more cards up my sleeve!"

It was morning recess and though the weather was sunny and fine, Jacq felt that something was missing in her heart. It felt so empty and lonely.

_Oh no Here he comes again_

"Hey Jacq! What's up? You look so gloomy today. Can I do anything to cheer you up?" once again Nakatsu was approaching Jacq with the excess-friendliness that she feared.

"N-nothing's the matter. I was... just worried about the Japanese essay we have to get done by Friday and today's already Wednesday!" _I have to say something to get him off me_

"Essays aye? Hmm… how about we go to the library and find an 'essay-writing' book?"

_Wow! I never thought he actually used his brain occasionally! …Am I a bit mean?_

"What a great idea! Alright, let's go now!"

Rummaging through the Japanese literature section of the library, Jacq found 2 excellent books on essay-writing. As she was searching for a 3rd one, she caught a glimpse of an interesting book title nearby. The title, _The Labyrinth of Love_, had something in it that sparked her interest instinctively. Hiding it in between her two other books, she issued them and walked back to class with Nakatsu.

"Thanks for coming with me Nakatsu, your advice was great!"

"Anytime! Next time, just ask and I'll try to help you if I can," smiled Nakatsu.

During the next lesson of Social Studies (in which the teacher goes on and on in the most dreary of monotones) Jacq secretly turned to the first pages of that book…

_Unrequited love is the most painful of all…_

_Why then, must we continue to pursue the indifferent one?_

_Why are we made fools by love?_

'_Tis this folly which draws us deeper into the web of love;_

_But it is this folly which may let our unrequited love be answered;_

_This is love._

_It is only through patience and endurance will a glow of hope light up in the shadows;_

_Forgive and accept, persist and believe…_

_These are the key to having the love you gave returned…_

_If not, then listen to your heart and theirs… are they really the one for you?_

_If not, then pursue them no further…let go of the leash and let them run free; _

_Let your heart rest a while, breathe a little…let it be…_

_And may Cupid's shower of arrows reach your lonely heart._

Somehow at that moment, the empty and lonely feeling distressing Jacq all day, disappeared. She felt fulfilled and calmed. No longer were troublesome thoughts occupying her mind. _My heart feels so much lighter. I feel foolish now for worrying. Hokuto's nature is simply cold, unwilling to open up to anyone; making it all the more worthwhile to win his love! As the book said…forgive and accept, persist and believe. I will not give up so easily!_

-----P-----

"May I come in, Umeda sensei?" said Jacq after knocking twice.

"Come in." came the usual cold reply.

Sitting opposite to the one she loved still made her heart beat just that much faster…. Straightening herself and containing her aura, she began her counselling session.

"Umm… is it ok… or am I asking too much… to let you talk about yourself a little today?"

Raising an eyebrow, Umeda seemed somewhat surprised and taken aback.

"Why?"

"… I just thought that if I knew you a bit better then I'll be able to talk to you with a lot more ease and we could even counsel each other on our problems."

"I don't see any reason to talk about myself. Especially to someone I hardly know."

_I want to plead but that would uncover my aura… I must act like a man!_

"Ohhh I get it! You're afraid to talk about yourself because you have something you want to hide, something that got you hurt…am I right?" asked Jacq with a sly expression.

Umeda twitched and Jacq froze as his eyes bore into her. He seemed angry and yet sad about something. Perhaps a memory was triggered by Jacq's impulsive words.

"Don't talk about things you don't understand! I'm giving my time to act as your counsel. Speak what you will but don't pry into my affairs!" his voice and his eyes were both firm and defensive. Clearly, Jacq had pricked a nerve.

_So there __**is**__ a weaker side of him that I can work on. If I can only heal him where it hurts, I know that his heart will open up more easily!_

"Umeda sensei, I'm sorry for prying. But I will not leave until you tell me. I want to help you just as you are helping me! Tell me your troubles… I give my word that what you say will stay in this room; no other soul will know about our conversations."

The look in Jacq's eyes was so determined and genuine that after some moments of hesitation, Umeda let out a sigh of resignation and frowned.

"If you so insist… what else can I say?"

Jacq smiled as he relented. _The first crucial step is over! Onto the next!_

"Alright. Have you ever loved, sensei?"

Again, his reluctance was clear as he averted his eyes and a melancholy expression set on his face. _Someone must have hurt him before…what should I do to make him talk?_

"… How about…what was it about him that attracted you?" _Oh no… maybe this question is even worse…_

Somehow, this seemed an easier question and he started to talk.

"…He is cold, unforgiving and plays with my feelings all the time. Yet… I don't know… I'm drawn to him…. I suppose I'm just another fool in love despite my cool demeanour. I can't seem to forget him… my first lover." He chuckled with bewilderment "I can't believe I'm talking about this to someone who will never understand me… I really think I should stop."

"…You're right, I may never understand you… but I do understand the torment you're in. I know about the many nights you must have stayed awake… crying and yearning for his love. I know how your heart skips a beat whenever he shows you the slightest bit of affection. And I know that even though you suffer so painfully, you suffer it willingly… because you believe that someday… he may just answer your love when he realises how much you love him."

-----P-----

Hearing these words, Umeda stared at Jacq with bafflement. He couldn't believe that this guy, who he thought was an idiot, could actually understand his feelings so well. This was the first time anyone said something so true and so right about his misery.

_I was wrong…perhaps there is something quite profound about him_ thought Umeda.

"How would you know all this?"

"Because I am in the exact same position as you, sensei" she replied, giving a weak smile.

"Have you told him your feelings, Jacq?"

"Not yet. I don't think it's the right time yet." _I don't think you're ready Hokuto!_

"As a doctor, I really shouldn't interfere with your relationship. But I really think that you should take a second look at this guy you love. To me, he sounds so cold and uncaring. In fact, he seems really oblivious to everything around him. In my opinion, he's the type that lacks understanding and insight. You are just attracted to his cool appearance, but to be truthful… with his lack of knowledge, he really doesn't deserve you."

Jacq laughed to herself as she listened to Umeda criticising no one but himself. _If only he knew who he was talking about! But I am surprised at the caring tone and kind words he is using on me…are your feelings towards me changing, Hokuto?_

"Wow, Umeda sensei! You are speaking with such kindness! Your cold and impatient tone completely disappeared. Your attitude towards me has changed considerably!"

Deflecting his eyes, Umeda replied that he was only trying to give his personal opinion, nothing more. But his words from before would not lie, and Jacq felt that she had finally won his trust and friendship. _Would I ever win his love?_

-----P-----

"À demain, Umeda sensei!"

"I don't think I could put up with you for another lunchtime."

"You mean, you can't put up with my prying again?" teased Jacq with a raised eyebrow

"Oh, be off with you!" he replied, a little embarrassed.

Laughing heartily, Jacq closed the door behind her and made her way to the next class.

_I can't believe his attitude changed so much after what I said about his feelings! Who would have thought him to have such a soft side underneath all that coldness? I finally saw the real man beneath his icy mask! Oh Hokuto, open up to me a little. I promise I shall love you gently and tenderly. I shall give you the happiness that you never received from your first lover. I will give you all the love you need! _

_If only you would love me!_

-------------------

A/N(end): Wow! This chapter took me so long to write! I wanted to do it well but I think this 'over-determination' had a slight repelling effect. What's your opinion?

Also, do you think my style of writing is a bit too formal sometimes? If so, do you think it is benefiting or ruining the story?

note: "À demain" means "see you tomorrow"

Ok, GIVE ME REVIEWS PLEASE! I _seriously_ crave them!!!!!!


	5. Chap 5  Revelation

**A/N(start):** Sorry for not submitting for quite some time! As you guessed… it was exams and assignments that hindered my progress.

Anyway, this chapter has a foreshadowing of a twist/change in Jacq so I hope you like it! I am currently having a 2-week school holiday so I plan to submit more during these 2 weeks! Please enjoy!!!

**I dedicate this chapter** to earthseas-Tehanu for your on-going support and also for being a wonderful friend! Thank you soooooo much!!!

**Chapter 5:**

"Hey Jacq! Wait up!"

"Oh! Good morning Nakatsu! Did you sleep well?"

"Not really… I have a soccer tournament coming up soon and training has become really intense recently so I'm aching all over…and I'm starving!"

"Me too! I'm gonna eat so much today!"

Taiki caught up with them as they made their way to the dining hall and whispered something in Jacq's ear. She winked and replied with a thumbs-up sign,

"Everything's going well and in control!"

Though Nakatsu looked puzzled, he couldn't bother enquiring. All he wanted now was _food_!

-----P-----

As the three of them circled round the buffet-style food ring, both Jacq and Nakatsu got 3 full plates of food on their trays but when they reached the snack bar, where you could get western food such as muffins and pancakes, an unexpected competition arose…

"Could I get a hotdog and 2 muffins please," said Jacq

"Then I'll have a hotdog, 3 muffins and a pancake," followed Nakatsu

"…Wait, make that a hotdog, 4 muffins and 2 pancakes" _I'm not gonna lose when it comes to food!_

"…Sorry, change that to a hotdog, 4 muffins, 3 pancakes and a croissant" Nakatsu wasn't backing down either. Jacq was furious!

"Could you just double what I ordered before?" _Now what can you do?_

"Um, with the pancakes and muffins I ordered, could you upsize them to large? And add one more croissant please." Nakatsu flashed a smirk at Jacq, making her fume with anger!

-----P-----

In the end, Jacq satisfied herself with 3 full plates of food, 2 hotdogs, 8 muffins, 4 _large_ pancakes and 2 éclairs. Nakatsu wasn't bad either with 3 full plates of food, a hotdog, 4 _large_ muffins, 3 _large_ pancakes, 2 croissants and a quiche.

Slamming the food down on the table and crashing into their seats, they took one hard look at each other and the eating race began! The circle of friends at the table hung their mouths open at the horrific sight…! Crumbs were flying everywhere, rice grains scattered on the table, sauces were smeared around their mouths and Jacq had the cream from the éclair oozing down onto the table! It was truly a battle of the appetites!

"S-s-stop it you two! You'll get a stomach ache if you don't stop!" exclaimed Taiki

"Th-that's enough… look at the mess you've made!" Sano protested in vain.

Right now, they could hear nothing and think about nothing except that they must finish before the other does and prove that they are the king (or in Jacq's case, the queen) when it comes to food consumption! They were each determined to win!

-----P-----

After 32 minutes of flat-out eating, the last mouthful was chewed and swallowed at the exact same second for them both and then quite suddenly, they both burped and collapsed on their chairs; breathing quick and short breaths, panting for oxygen.

"G-g-god! I don't think… I can… eat one more crumb… of food…"

"Th-this is… all your fault… you started it… Nakatsu… so don't complain…!"

"I-I didn't think… it would end… like this… gosh… I'm sooooo… stuffed…!"

As one might imagine, both of them could not concentrate during the morning classes due to excess blood sugar levels. During recess, the two of them slumped on their desks and snored like over-fed pigs. It wasn't until lunchtime before their brain cells started to function normally again; and as for lunch… the sun rose in the west _(a Chinese saying meaning an impossible/ extremely rare thing/event)_ as they each got a small rice ball.

-----P-----

Jacq stumbled into Umeda's office with an unfocused look in her eyes. The stomach ache that Taiki had warned about was starting to come on and Jacq couldn't hide the pain from her face as she greeted Umeda.

"Y-you look like you're in pain. What's the matter?"

_H-he cares about me! God I'm so happy! B-but the pain! Oh, I can't stand it anymore! I'm never gonna eat like that again no matter what Nakatsu does!_

"I-I ate too much this morning… and I'm having… a really bad stomach ache…"

"Here, I'll rub some soothing balm on it for you."

_What??!! Physical contact?? I'm wearing a binding-vest! I'll be found out for sure!!_

"Ehhh… just give the balm to me… I'll apply it myself…"

"Why? We are both guys after all."

_Oh no!! Does he suspect something?… Stay calm… contain my aura… I can do this!_

"No, it's not that. I'm just a bit sensitive to other guys touching me… because I'm gay… so another guy touching me is… quite a serious thing to me." _Pleeeaase buy into it!!! Please!!_

Umeda laughed to himself as he heard Jacq's words, thinking… _how cute! He's just like me when I was younger… I remember being nervous when a guy touched me, but now I hardly get that kind of thrill anymore._

"Alright, here, take this. Just apply it to the painful area and it'll feel better in no time!"

"Thanks sensei," _I think he believes me…since he's gay himself, he should understand…I hope._

Standing behind the overhanging curtains encircling one of the beds, Jacq quietly lifted her shirt, unzipped her vest and rubbed the ointment onto her stomach and felt a bit better instantly. _Wow! This really works!_

-----P-----

"Feeling better?"

"Thank you sensei, it was really effective!" Jacq gave Umeda a warm and sweet smile of gratitude. He stared at her, utterly frozen. _…He…He looks so…so beautiful…_ he thought to himself, then shook himself and acted normal again.

"So, what do you wish to discuss today? I don't have all day you know."

"Um… how about we discuss each other's interpretation of love? I've always been fascinated by the meaning of love, it is so profound and complex!"

"Hmm… this may take too long to talk about. I'm afraid I can't be bothered."

"….It's just that the guy I like is starting to take some notice of me but I fear that it may only be due to sympathy for me or something like that. So if you could discuss a little about love with me then I might be able to see through his feelings a bit better… perhaps."

"Ahem, …you want me to tell you a guy's perspective of love? You do know I'm gay don't you? I don't think my interpretations will be all that 'manly' you know."

_Laughs_ "I'm sure you're just fine…. Well, I was just wondering what a man would think when another guy is persistently pursuing them and wanting their attention?"

"Well, if that guy is gay then eventually he will take some notice of his admirer; but if he's straight…then it's not so easy, as you know perfectly."

"Are you sure that the guy will eventually accept someone like me? I'm pretty sure he _is_ gay. he just never admits it."

"If he is gay, then I'm sure you will have no problem getting him. But as I said before, I honesty think he doesn't deserve you. He seems like such an unfeeling idiot…no offence."

_Chuckles_ "Thanks sensei. …..The thing is… I don't understand him! And I am usually really skilled at reading another person. Take you for instance. I can tell that you are cold on the outside but there is something warm and quite considerate about you now that I know you a bit better. …Aww, come on. Don't give me that sarcastic stare sensei. You know yourself better than anyone else, it's just that I'm describing it aloud which annoys you. …Anyway… with this crush of mine… he was all cold and unfeeling before but recently he has been paying attention to me and even caring for me sometimes! I just can't understand him! Why the sudden change?" _Now, what will you say to confirm my suspicions? Do you like me at all?_

"…..Well, I just think you should be more careful because this could just be an act of sympathy from him seeing how hard you try to pursue him. I don't think his change towards you is necessarily a good thing. He could well be pretending. I suggest that you don't accept him so easily… well, not now anyway. Observe a bit more."

_Yes!!! So he does care!!! I think I get him now!! Hmm… there are currently two explanations. Either that he's a little jealous or he is just saying things that any person would say to someone they care about. Well, either way… I know he is starting to treat me more than just an ordinary patient. Let me test him a little more…_

"I think you're right about him feeling sympathetic towards me… but what if he is serious? How should I respond? I do not mean any offence… but unrequited love is the most tragic of all, you have personally had that experience… you should know exactly how I feel. So talk to me as a friend, not as a doctor, and tell me what I should do if this guy is genuine?"

Umeda hesitated and looked doubtful… after a moment of thought Jacq observed that he seemed to have let go of something… and replied,

"Well… if he is indeed serious about you, then… go for it. …I don't have any objections so long as he keeps his word and loves you truly and faithfully."

-----P-----

_What??!!! Don't you like me?? Did my senses lie? Or did you let me go just now?? ……Why?? Why? Show me your true feelings Hokuto!!!!_

Jacq glared at Umeda with irate disappointment. She could not believe that Umeda could be so cold after proving to her that he did have a gentle and caring side to him. It angered Jacq to come to the realisation that Umeda will only treat her as a friend… and no more.

_Stop lying to yourself Hokuto!! I don't believe that you are still wildly in love with that guy who hurt you so badly! Then forget him and try to love again. I don't mean that it has to be me, even though I wish for it…. But no… I just want you to learn what it is to love again and tear down the wall you've built around yourself. I'll ask you one more time… before I make my decision._

"Umeda sensei. Don't answer with such indifference. Tell me, was that your true and honest suggestion to me? Is there something you are hiding from me?"

"…I…. No. No, truly that was what I wanted to say. I have nothing more to add." Although there was a hint of uncertainty in his voice, Jacq did not notice it as his words dulled her senses.

In that instant of time, she made her decision. Though shocked and in despair… she knew that it was the only thing for her to do now.

_This may be the only way to awaken him. It was my last resort but I guess I have to use it sooner than I thought. Hokuto… I have come this far already… I won't give in like this!! I will do whatever it takes to break your shielding wall. I vowed to do it… and I will not fail!!!!!_

Giving Umeda a relinquishing smile mixed with despair and yet severity, Jacq stood up from her seat and did something completely unexpected. She wrapped one arm round Umeda's shoulders and whispered in his ear,

"You are so pathetically impossible!"

With that, she left his office. Not knowing the effect her actions had on Umeda.

-----P-----

As her footsteps died away, Umeda was still frozen in his chair, stunned at the feelings in his chest and stomach.

"What…what…was that? What is this feeling in my heart? I haven't had this kind of thrill since…since…Ryouichi left me. How could a student like him arouse such feelings in me? What is it with you, Jacq that draws me? You are much warmer than Ryouichi and you have a somewhat profound understanding of love. Yet….when you were cold to me just then… I felt the thrill that I miss so much. _Sigh_, do I always fall for the cold yet occasionally affectionate type? I sense that you like me but then what can I make of the guy you have a crush on? … _Chuckles_, perhaps he doesn't even exist…my intuition tells me that he is just your tool to test me with.

_Laughs_, I'm impressed Jacq; I love your way of pursuing me! There have been others who wanted me but they have all failed. Let's see what you can do to make me love you! Oh, but you are too young… I really shouldn't fool around with you. But I don't know… I want to torture you a bit longer… will you endure it? Why did you run away just now? I want to know what more tricks you have hidden up your sleeve. You fascinate me so much!"

-----P-----

Speeding along the corridors, down the stairs and back to the dorm building… Jacq was biting back the tears swelling up in her eyes. _I can't go back to class after lunch. I need some time to calm down. Oh Hokuto! Why did you force me to be like this? I never wanted to show you the cruel and cold side of me but you pushed me too far today. Your contempt and indifference was just too much for me to bear. Since it has come to this…I won't back down and conceal myself any longer. I will see to it that my cruelty will induce you to succumb to me! I can't hide my true feelings for you anymore… and neither can I hide my true personality. God! Why am I crying?!! I should not feel upset at all! Stop being so weak!!!_

As her sprinting legs carried her to her dorm, Jacq's tears streamed down her face for complicated reasons. She worried whether her sudden revelation will affect Umeda's view on her and whether everything will be ruined. She also felt angry towards herself for being so fragile and broke her own disguise in front of Umeda. Anger, uncertainty and embarrassment were the reasons why her tears would not stop…

_What are you thinking right now Hokuto? Do you think I'm despicable? I hope you will eventually understand that all that I do is in pursuit of you. All that I do is to gain your love. Thus, don't look down on me or despise me…__ let me into your heart…even for but a moment!!!_

-------------------------------------

**A/N(end):** How was that for a weird and wonderful ending?? What do you think about the 'real' Jacq? Do you like her more or less compared to how she was like in previous chapters?

Please give me your opinions (compliments or whines), I love both!! So please review!

Look forward to chapter 6 and onwards! They'll be coming soon!


	6. Chap 6  Limits

**Chapter 6:**

Collapsing on the bunk-bed, Jacq breathed hard and deep. Drying her tears, she stared at the underside of the top-bunk and considered her options…

_I won't be upset or angry anymore… what has happened can't be reversed. If you love Ryouichi so much for his coldness, then so shall you love me for mine! You are so foolish Hokuto… but then again, so am I…and so are we all when we're in love. 'Sigh', in front of you I will now be cold and cruel. I shall tempt you, tease you, treat you with contempt and then confuse you with occasional affection. Will you be strong enough to bear it? If not… well,… then there's no point in me loving you anymore if you're so weak at heart._

_Hmm… I think I shall only show my true self to you, no one else. I love the feeling of knowing that there are those who think I'm so innocent and kind… little do they know the cold and malevolent person underneath. Perhaps in some respects I am similar to Ryouichi, but there is one difference.  
I love you more than him, and more than anyone that has ever wanted you.  
Unlike Ryouichi, I will show all of my affections when you have proved to me that you love me. Until then… I will be just as cruel, if not more so, as Ryouichi. I really don't want to be cruel to you Hokuto… you make me so melancholy…. But if this is the only way… then so be it!!!!!!!!_

-----P-----

"What happened to you after lunch?"

_Please don't bother me right now Nakatsu…_

"Oh… um… I felt sick so I came here to take a nap."

"Really? Was it because of that ferocious eating this morning? Want to go to the school infirmary? I'll take you if you want."

_Oh god! The last place I want to go to right now is the infirmary! Will you just leave me alone?_

"Nah, it's alright. And don't act like Mr. Nice-Guy. After all, it was you who made us both sick. But anyhow… thanks for caring anyway. Oh! Before I forget… could I use your laptop to type an essay up this evening? My parents will buy me one soon; my old one's hard disk wore out somehow so right now I don't have a laptop."

"Oh sure! I'll use it now and you can have it as soon as I finish."

"Of course! I'll use it after you. Thank you so much Nakatsu!"

Flashing one of her winning smiles at Nakatsu, Jacq made him shiver with unexpected excitement. He shook himself and turned away mumbling,

"Your welcm…"

As he worked on the laptop, Jacq was busy doing her maths homework and when dinnertime came, Jacq finally felt hunger after that fulfilling breakfast.

"Wow. Hey Nakatsu! I'm finally hungry! Are you? Let's get some dinner shall we?"

With that, she walked over to his seat and resting her forearms on his shoulders, she looked over his head to see how his work was progressing.

He froze.

He could feel his ears throbbing with the hot blood rushing to them. With Jacq standing behind him and with her body so close to neck, he felt dizzy and confused. _Why do I feel that sour feeling in my chest again? Just like that night when Jacq first moved in with me. God! Don't tell me that I'm a homo! How will I face my parents? How will I face myself?_

"Uhhh… L-let's go now Jacq. I-I'm hungry too…" he stood up unsteadily and felt Jacq's arms and hands slide down his back as he did so. _Oh god! Please don't tempt me!!!_

He suddenly whipped round and grabbed her wrists. Staring into her eyes, he wanted to test himself to see if he was really gay. The longer he stared, the harder his heart pounded. The more he tried to look away, the more his eyes defied him. _I'm gay!!!!!!!!!_

"Umm… Nakatsu? Please stop whatever you're doing because it's really tormenting you. I'm not gonna act innocent and pretend that I don't know what you're doing. Mizuki may be thick-skulled towards Sano…I've seen her ignorance even when Sano was soooo suggestive…! So I'm going to tell you exactly how you feel."

"W-what? I'm not doing anything. I-I promise I wasn't feeling any –"

"Stop kidding yourself Nakatsu. Just hear me out on this one. Well… I'm sorry for looking so much like a girl and that kind of confused you in many respects. Subconsciously, you are slowly being attracted towards me and you are struggling to decide whether you are gay or not. Am I right?"

"………Y-yeah alright. Y-you're absolutely right Jacq. ……How could you see that?"

_Laughs_ "Look, my great intuition and sixth-sense have been the work of Taiki, and I'm not going to go into the details. But just get one thing Nakatsu. You are a great friend, but you and I won't work. I'm not gay and you're not really gay either but you're just confused. So just live with the fact that I have a pretty face and we can continue being normal good friends. Deal?"

"……I-I can't promise anything. I-I think I've already fallen too deep to turn back…"

_Sighs_ "Well, you've got time. When you see that your affections are not returned by me… you will stop loving me eventually. I'm sure. …..Come on, let's go to dinner."

-----P-----

Looking across the table and seeing how Sano always looked out and cared for Mizuki, Jacq felt jealousy more intense than ever before. The thing was, it would have been ok if she was left alone to eat calmly. But you see… Nakatsu was currently sitting beside her, continuously passing food into her bowl of rice and occasionally wiping her mouth for her.

"Nakatsu! Will you stop it? Everyone thinks we're gay!" _Why is my life so tragic??? The person I would love to treat me like this isn't here, and someone I feel nothing for is practically crawling all over me!! Why can't Hokuto and Nakatsu reverse roles just for a moment?_

Taiki was currently laughing behind his bowl and everyone else was looking at them with a somewhat sickened look.

"I-I can't control my feelings anymore! Since you seemed to understand me so well back there in our room… I thought… maybe you'll accept me easier than I thought…"

_What????????? My candidness actually backfired at me??????? How could this be???? Oh why? Why? Why? Lord!!!!! Why am I surrounded by misfortunes????_

"J-just control yourself alright? _Sigh_ I really don't want to be thought of as gay even if _you_ desperately want to be."

"But-but I just came to accept the fact that I'm gay. Can't you at least support me in that?"

"I can support you but I won't co-operate with you and throw myself at you ok? So please… pull yourself together Nakatsu!"

-----P-----

"Stop it! I'm trying to concentrate on my typing! If you've finished your work already then please go to bed! Leave me in peace!"

Apparently, Nakatsu had lost it (his mind I mean). He was sitting beside Jacq with a packet of marshmallows and every now and then, he would pop one into her mouth whether she wanted it or not. Occasionally, he would even massage her shoulders ("Come on Jacq. I'm just relaxing your muscles for you! It's very good for you! Gosh! Your bones are so delicate and cute!!")  
This continued on until about 10:30pm before Nakatsu finally got tired and climbed onto his top bunk. Because of Nakatsu's endless disturbance, Jacq only got about a quarter of the essay done.

"Mon Dieu!!!! How late will I need to work before I get this damned essay done??? God! It's all his fault! But maybe it's partly my fault too for being so candid to Nakatsu… I didn't know that it would have _this_ kind of effect though…! He's _completely_ lost it!!!"

As it turned out, Jacq worked till 2 in the morning before she perfected the essay. After sending it to the printer in the main computer room, she was too tired to go and collect it; before she knew it… she slumped on her bed and fell asleep instantly…… .

-----P-----

"Urrrrrg! Owww! My neck! My back! My waist! Gosh! I worked too late last night… now look at what it's done! ………Nakatsu? Are you awake?"

From the bathroom Nakatsu came out with a clean face and fresh breath, exclaiming,

"Good morning my sweetheart! How are you this morning?"

"Urrrg! Look what you've done to me! Because of your disturbances I had to work till 2 in the morning and now I have pains and aches all over!!"

"Oh my dear! I'm so sorry! Let me massage it for y –"

"Don't!!! Don't touch me please! I'll be fine so long as you keep away from me! …Oww! Could you leave before me and pick up my essay from the main computer suite? Tell the teacher I'll be a little late. I need to take a shower first and I think I'll need more time than usual to get dressed since I'm in this wretched state."

"Well…….if you insist…. You sure you'll be ok, my sweet?"

"Oh stop using endearments on me! I feel sick enough already! Just go!!"

As he left the room Jacq went into the bathroom and locking the door behind her, she undressed and got into the shower. As the water softened her hair and trickled down her back, she pondered what she should do…

_I really need to go to Hokuto's office and get him to give me one of his professional massages. But…I don't want him thinking I'm so weak and letting him touch my body! What if I slip and he senses my female aura? I'll be doomed!!! …… But I can't endure this pain much longer…gosh! What should I do??_

-----P-----

As lunchtime approached the pain worsened to a point where Jacq could no longer concentrate on what the teacher was saying…

"Jacq. Could you read paragraph 3 on page 59 please?"

"… …"

"Jacq? Read paragraph 3 on page 59 please!"

"…Oh! Gome sensei! Um… um… oh! In 1953 James Watson and Francis Crick presented the idea that the DNA molecule is made up of two coiled strands of nucleotides, in a complementary sequence which looked to represent a code of some kind. The Adenine was always attached to Thymine and Guanine always to Cytosine……"

-----P-----

Lunchtime finally arrived but Jacq did not rush to the canteen as usual, the pain was now overwhelming…

_Oh god! I can't stand it any longer! I don't want to go but…I guess I'll just have to keep my cool and go to him… if I want to live……_

"C-can I come in sensei?"

"Is that Jacq? Come in."

Pulling back her shoulders and straightening her face to one which was not in pain, she opened the door and did her best to 'casually' walk in. _Oww! My back!_

"So… you came. What do you want to talk about today? I hope it's not about that 'crush' of yours? If it is……come, tell me more about myself – I mean, tell me more about him." The slip-up in his sentence was done on purpose and Jacq knew instantly what he meant, despite her pain.

"So you finally figured it out sensei? It took you long enough." _Gotta keep my cool…_

"Well, I'm just interested in what you have to say to me today. I've been aching to see you after what you said to me before you left yesterday. It was so stimulating!"

Anger swelled up in Jacq as his menacing words pierced her already sore body. _Well, if you are going to be mean to me… don't blame me for being ruthless!_

Swivelling his chair to face her, Jacq bent down and grabbed the arms of his chair so that they were extremely close with their faces level and their breaths interweaving. Glaring into his contemptuous eyes, Jacq retorted,

"You're mistaken if you think I came here just to see your hideous face and to hear your repulsive words. I came here because I worked late on the computer last night and now I'm experiencing severe pain on my neck, back and waist. So would you just cut the crap and ease my pain?"

Raising an eyebrow, Umeda grinned at her words and also at the sour feeling in his chest as she criticized him. _I am so strange…the more you insult me, the more I like you. Come on…tell me more……_

"Well, if that's the case…I can't really pretend I don't know and ignore you can I? Alright, get onto that bed and lie on your chest."

With her heart pounding with tension, Jacq took off her coat and lay on the bed. _Oh god…please detect nothing…… Taiki…I hope the results of our training won't fail me now!_

As he kneaded and rubbed the target areas on her neck and back, Jacq bit back the cries she wanted to let out; instead, producing weird groans and whimpers which almost suggested something along the lines of sexual pleasure…something she did not mean to display.

Little did she know the effect her sounds were having on Umeda. The more she groaned the harder he kneaded. He was almost challenging her to let it all out and to satisfy his ears with a long howl of agony! Indeed he was hurting her… but right now, he had about as much control over his feelings and actions as he had over the rate at which ice melted in the Arctic. Jacq was persistent however, and despite the overpowering pain, she held it in and endured it all.

-----P-----

After about 20min of suffering, her back and waist actually felt much better and her neck no longer hurt. She slowly sat up and flexed her shoulders and back muscles… it was really much better!

"Th-thank you sensei……I better get going now. Sorry to have taken up your time."

Acting cool and picking up her coat, Jacq stood up to leave.

Suddenly, Umeda pushed her back down onto the bed. Except this time, she was facing him and seemed more vulnerable than ever before.

"What are you doing Umeda sensei? Let me go…!"

Keeping a firm hold on Jacq's wrists, Umeda smiled down on Jacq with a rather evil look…

"Before you leave…let me study your face for a while…I've never really taken a good look at you before."

Turning her face away and blushing from ear to ear, Jacq felt like a lamb under the mercy of a wolf. It made her feel powerless and humiliated. Abruptly, this feeling turned to anger…

Without warning, she spat onto his face and wrenched her wrist out of his grasp. Leaping up and making for the door, she looked back at him with fury. However, underneath her glower, Umeda faintly saw heartache and sorrow, something he didn't expect…

"W-wait! I was just hav –"

Jacq did not wish to hear anymore as she slammed the door behind her. Umeda stood beside the bed and wiped his cheek with a tissue.

"What a man he is! I've never been spat on by anyone before! …This does seem like something that a woman would do…but in every other way he is definitely a man. His stance, his demeanour, his voice and his words…they all prove him to be a man. ……I am so crazy! Even after being spat on by him I still… no, I like him _even more_! What's wrong with me?? I should hate him shouldn't I?? But no… I just can't bring myself to even dislike him, let alone hate him!

Wait a minute… . Why did he look sorrowful just now? Was it because of me? Was it because I hurt and intimidated him too much? _Sigh_ I'm sorry, but I couldn't help myself. You are such an interesting and profound person… the only way to test your strength and personality is by pushing you to the limit and seeing how you respond. You did not disappoint me today…you spat on me! Most people would back down and put themselves under my mercy…but you… . You retaliated and defied me! Gosh…I'm loving you more and more each day… how much more will I sink into the whirlpool of love? How much have you sunk for me?"

-----P-----

_What the hell was that Hokuto? You hurt me so deep just now!! I don't even want to see your face tomorrow. I despise yet love you all at once! I'm sad yet motivated to go on. …Why did you intimidate me? What were you trying to do? Test my limit? Well, I'm sorry Hokuto, but you are far from it. If you think that the little drama you pulled back there is going to make me give up…you are sooo wrong. Now, because you have intimidated me…I will have my revenge. I will test your limit as you have tested mine._

_If I'm not mistaken, I sense that you have come to like me somewhat…otherwise you would not have done what you did just now. I will use this against you. I want to see how much you actually like me. How long can you stand not seeing me? How long will it take before you come and search for me? I'm tired of going to your office everyday…let me experience the feeling of being pursued for once. _

_This could be the perfect way to test your love and also to test my strength. How long will __**I**__ be able to wait before I rush to your office? Gosh!!! Pleeease let me prove to myself that emotionally, I am stronger than you! Let me win just this once! Jacqueline…don't disappoint me!!!!!!!_

_-----------------------------------------_

**A/N(end)**: Things are starting to get a little sticky and confusing. How much will each of them endure? And what's that thing going on between Nakatsu and Jacq? Will all be revealed soon enough?

Look forward to my next chapter! I'm working hard to gradually present you all the complications and complex plots in my next few chapters so please support me by reading on!! By the way, don't be lazy… please take 30 seconds to write me some reviews. Or else… (lol).

Note…Mon Dieu! means Good Heavens! or My God!

**Thank you 'earthseas-Tehanu'**!!!!! You are my saviour!!! Words cannot express my gratitude!


	7. Chap 7  Loss of self

**A/N(start)**: In this chapter I'm going to try something different. It will be focusing on Umeda and will occasionally be told through his eyes.

The chapter was inspired by **earthseas-Tehanu** and it is because of her that motivated me to write this.

Ok, enough talk! Let's get on with it!

**Chapter 7:**

Twirling his pen around his thumb and occasionally staring out the window, Umeda sat restlessly at his desk with Jacq's patient-file in his hand. _Why didn't he come today? What's wrong? Is he in some kind of trouble?_  
_'Humph' Why do I care so much? What's gotten into me? Have I really…really…fallen for him? Don't I love Ryouichi? Perhaps my love for him has faded. I've been wondering about this for some time…now that Jacq hasn't come to visit me…I finally realize that this could be true. I really have come…to love…Jacq…haven't I?_

_Knock__, knock_

Umeda dashed to the door and swung the door open.  
It wasn't Jacq.

"Sensei! Why haven't you come to my room recently? I've been missing you so much!"

_Oh god! One of my fake-lovers. I don't have time for this! _

"…I'll be honest with you ok? I've been busy with another student. I don't have time for anything else."

"……What!!??? Y-you don't love me anymore? But you were always so intim –"

"Look, I never truly loved you. I know I sound cruel…but in my mind there was always this one guy I met in my high school years. I could never fall in love with another. But…recently… I've changed…I…… . Anyway, I don't want to talk about this with you. Just get one thing straight. I don't love you; I never have. So just forget me and get on with your life. Love someone else if you would."

"But –"

"Ok, I'm sorry. But I need to be alone for a while. Could I please ask you to leave?"

Without waiting for a reply, Umeda almost pushed the student out the room and shut the door in his confused and helpless face.

_God! I __can't even bring myself to touch or kiss another guy! Somehow…the only person I want to caress…is…Jacq!!! Where are you? Did I hurt you so much yesterday that you've given up on me? Are you so weak? I don't believe it!!_

-----P-----

Meanwhile, Jacq was just making her way back to her dorm after a long day of struggle at school. It seems that Jacq's suffering was four times that of what Umeda was feeling. She sooo wanted to rush to his office and talk to him…but that would not do. She had to test him. She had to test his love for her. This was the only way she could think of.

_Ho__kuto! Do you know the pain I have in my chest? Do you know my suffering? I could hardly breathe today! I couldn't even do simple integration when we covered Calculus today! It was sooo embarrassing! If you don't come for me soon…I don't know if I can bear this much longer. How long will I need to wait?  
God!!! I need to go somewhere tonight, just to relax and let this stress out. Where will I go?_

-----P-----

"Hey umm Taiki? Do you know a good restaurant nearby that I could go to tonight? You know, just somewhere relaxing with reasonably priced fo –"

"Oh! You wanna go somewhere tonight? I know just the place!" Unfortunately, Nakatsu overheard Jacq's conversation with Taiki in the dorm's hallway and rushed to be of (nosey) assistance.

"Uhh…you do? Umm…could you tell me where it is? I'll go by mys –"

"Oh it's no trouble, …really! I'll take you myself! It's not far. Besides…this will kinda be like our first date…right Taiki?" Taiki smiled to himself and glanced at Jacq's uneasy expression.

"Oh….umm….well……_sigh_, alright then. Just don't get any ideas or do weird things while we're out ok?"

"Well……I can't make any promises I'm afraid. When I'm around you I don't know if I'll be able to control myself. But…I'll try, for your sake Jacq."

"Ok, we'll set out in an hour or two. I need to have a shower and do a bit of work first."

Whistling a tune, Nakatsu skipped away happily, apparently very pleased with himself.

Pulling Jacq close to him, Taiki whispered…

"I've been wondering…does he know?"

"No, of course not! He's as thick as a whale's blubber for god's sake! He'd be the last person to figure this out!"

"Hmm…I'm not so sure about this. Somehow…even though he's thick, he does possess something profound. He's not as simple as he appears. Maybe he himself doesn't even know it…but I can sense that he has felt something from you. Perhaps in some respects, his senses are even stronger than mine. You never know…those that appear simple may have hidden abilities!"

"Oh shoosh! You think too much! I'm taking a shower now!"

"Hmm…take care Jacq! Don't ignore my words!"

"Oh alright…if you say so."

-----P-----

"How do you like the food Jacq? Is it good enough for your delicate tongue?"

"Oh you are impossible Nakatsu! You have such a sweet mouth. …But yes, the food is absolutely delicious! I love this hot metal cooking surface and this spatula-thing! It's such a cool way to eat! I've never eaten anything like this in France. We have les grenouilles, les escargots, la baguette and the popular foie gras. But this is my first time eating sizzling-plate food! It is really good!"

With Nakatsu staring at Jacq with dreamy and loving eyes, Jacq couldn't help but feel her chest tighten just a bit. _Why does he look so attractive tonight?_

"Are you feeling alright Jacq? I mean, why did you want to come out tonight? Is something wrong? Because if I can help with any of your problems…you know I'd do it with absolute willingness."

_If you could make Hokuto appear before me right now, I'd salute you at once!_

"No…it's alright. Knowing that you are a good friend and would care for me that much gives me comfort enough Nakatsu. You really don't need to do any more. Thank you anyway."

-----P-----

_Why can't I sit still tonight? I'm so out of sorts! Well, I'm never very normal anyway but right now, I feel nothing but restlessness and unease. I'm so cold. I was so eager to come out and have a walk that I forgot my coat. __What the hell is wrong with me?_

Just then, he walked past the restaurant that Jacq was dining in. Looking closer, he saw Jacq eating with Nakatsu and was chatting and laughing with him. Suddenly, a source of jealously swelled up in his chest and before he knew it, he had walked into the restaurant and stood before Jacq and Nakatsu wearing an angry frown on his face.

"Wh-what are you –" Taking a short breath, Umeda tried to keep his cool and tried again.

"…I-I see you are on a date? I never knew Nakatsu was gay as well?" Thinking that he would intimidate Nakatsu and hopefully scare him away, he was about to get a surprise.

"Oh sensei! How nice to see you here! Come and join the gay club! I'd like you to meet my partner, Jacqetsu Hiroi."

Both Jacq and Umeda stared dumbstruck at Nakatsu, each with their own different reasons. Jacq was simply overwhelmed with embarrassment whilst Umeda felt shocked, defeated and also extremely incredulous.

Suddenly, Jacq's quick mind got an idea to turn the situation in her favour. _Alright then, let's go with the flow._

"Umm…Nakatsu, I've already met Umeda sensei. There was no need for the introduction." Turning to Umeda, "yes sensei, come and join us! There's plenty of room." _This could be a good way to test him too!_

Umeda hesitated. _What is this? Was I fooled by him? Doesn't he love me? When did they become……partners??? What the heck is this????_

Jacq thought rapidly and had to force herself to do it (_Oh, I'll get over it later_), she suddenly reached over and grabbed both of Nakatsu's hands and said,

"Are you sure this is ok sweetheart? You sure you don't mind Umeda sensei joining us? If you do, I promise we'll have another date some time soon."

This time, it was Jacq who was stared at with shock. Nakatsu couldn't quite believe his ears and felt he was going to get a nose-bleed. Umeda's feelings could only be described with two words: bewildered jealousy.

Jacq had done it. A sharp dagger seemed to pierce through Umeda and after muttering something along the lines of "I'm busy tonight", he abruptly stormed out of the restaurant.

Jacq at first smiled at her own wit, but then a sadness settled in her heart. _Did I overdo it? Was I too cruel? 'Sigh', I'm sorry Hokuto. You must've known this was coming after what you did yesterday. You must've expected some payback……right?_

Suddenly, she was brought back to her senses when she felt both her hands being stoked by Nakatsu and held so tightly. It seems that Nakatsu was quickly being possessed by a crazed love and he simply would not let go of Jacq's hands. _Oh no…now I shall suffer for my recklessness……_

-----P-----

Struggling to suppress the spasms in his chest, Umeda walked weakly in the cold and felt his jealousy grow larger and larger.

"Was I played with just now? Was it all a joke? B-but it seemed so real. Jacq isn't a person that would throw himself at anyone. He is a persistent and in-control type of person. He would never do things recklessly… . So…he's a two-timer? That's the only explanation I have. But he seems so intimate with that Nakatsu idiot. Far more than he has ever been with me.  
God!!! I hear myself saying these things and I want to cringe! I care about him so much that I've completely lost my cool and sedateness. I'm saying these sissy things betraying weakness and jealousy! Where is my calm and composed self? _Sigh_ I can't be like this!"

Arriving in his room right by his office, he stumbled in and went into the bathroom. Staring at himself in the mirror, Umeda saw how awful his face looked and how it expressed what he felt inside. _Gosh, I look haggard! I need a facial right now! Or maybe I just need Jacq……. I need to talk to you Jacq! I want to see you in my office tomorrow! Or else… 'sigh'…or else what? I'll kill you? …I'd rather kill myself first…. Oh man, why am I so fricking weak right now??_

_I can't believe that your wickedness has bore so deep into me. I can't forget that day when you said I was "pathetically impossible". I felt the thrill that I hadn't had in years! You gave me an awakening to love. But now…you…you seem to love another…and that person isn't even half as good looking as me! …What am I saying? I mean, he's so stupid that he simply doesn't deserve you! I've just got to see you tomorrow and get things straight (even though I'm not). I'm just so confused about all this! You've got to explain yourself!!!_

-----P-----

Back in Jacq's room, she was having problems of her own. For the past hour, Nakatsu had done nothing except spoke with his tongue of honey and simply could not get his hands off her.

"Stop it Nakatsu! Don't you have work to do?" _God he's thick! Doesn't he know that he was used by me back there in the restaurant? I can't stand this anymore!_

Quite suddenly, it seemed that Nakatsu could no longer control himself and before Jacq could even react, she was pinned to the wall by his powerful arms on her shoulders. Breathing hard, Nakatsu came right up to her face and stared at her with utter admiration and love. Jacq blushed and looked away from his face. _What's he gonna do?_  
Lifting her chin to force her to look at him, Nakatsu whispered…

"May I kiss you Jacq? Y-you are sooo beautiful! It's the only word to use on you even though you're a guy……. Forgive me…but may I kiss you?"

"I-I-I…I can't Nakatsu! I don't love you! Please let go of me…"

But it was too late, Nakatsu couldn't control himself and he was closing the gap between their mouths fast! _Oh my god! If I don't do something soon, my first kiss will be gone!!!_ Quick as lightning, Jacq bent her knees, slid down and sideways along the wall and dodged his kiss.

"Oww!!" He cried, as his face hit the wall…. Jacq felt sorry for him, but her first kiss was meant for someone else…not him.

"Umm…Nakatsu…I don't think it'll be a good idea if I sleep here tonight. You might lose control again. So…I'll catch up with you tomorrow at school alright? Well…goodnight then!"

"What? Wait! Jac –"

Snatching her pyjamas and not daring to look back, Jacq dashed out the room, slammed the door shut and tore her way into Taiki's room. After explaining the situation, Taiki just laughed and said, "See? I knew there was some hidden quality about him! Better watch out!"

Slumping onto the bunk, Jacq's mind was in a total mess. _I don't think I can hold out for much longer! What have I gotten myself into? I was too reckless at the restaurant! I shouldn't have done that! ……But maybe it isn't all bad…perhaps this will force Hokuto to do something! What it is that he'll do…I hardly know…. But some good may result from this little drama! Just maybe…. Gee! I'm sooo tired I can hardly think! 'Sigh' I'll think about it tomorrow………_

-----P-----

It was lunchtime the following day… and again, Jacq's resistance to visit Umeda tortured her beyond execution. She couldn't think, she couldn't chat and she couldn't even eat!!! _Darn! I seriously need to go somewhere quiet and peaceful…I also need to get away from Nakatsu before he joins me with his plates of food! I don't think I could stand the sight of that much food…it's gonna make me sick!!!_

Standing up from her table, she made her way quickly out of the dining hall and thought of the perfect place to go to. Going past several classrooms and spotting the staircase, Jacq climbed to the top of the building and welcomed the sun as she sat down to enjoy her small lunch on the roof. _This is perfect!! Just what I wanted!!!_

-----P-----

"That's IT!!! If you want to be cruel, don't expect me to have mercy! From now on, I refuse to be your counselor!"

Slamming his fist on his desk, Umeda looked as though he would gladly have killed someone right then. If anyone (apart from Jacq) had knocked on the door at that instant, they would certainly have met a painful death.  
Having said all that…his heart still would not settle…

_I-I I just can't……!!! I need to find him! I need to see him!! __  
I truly can't believe how his absence is tormenting me! He's just a kid! …Yet…I have completely fallen into his hands…. When I close my eyes, his evil frown and gleaming eyes glare right at me, and I just can't resist!_

_You…you really have made me love again Jacq!! Don't hide from me now!!!_

-----P-----

Lying on her back and basking in the sun. Jacq's mind was somewhat calm and relaxed. The muscles on her chest no longer felt so tight and her heart beat steadily again. Breathing in the fresh air, seeing sparrows fly past against the clear blue sky and feeling the breeze in her hair…everything seemed peaceful and pleasant…  
Until……

_Thump!!!!_

The door leading to the rooftop burst open and Jacq immediately sat bolt upright. Whipping around, Jacq's eyes widened as she saw who it was…

She couldn't believe her eyes. Seeing Umeda puffing in the doorway with a desperate and anxious expression, Jacq's recently calmed heart suddenly raced uncontrollably…

"U-Umeda sensei! W-what are you doing here?"

Struggling to compose himself and look at least a little serene, Umeda replied in the calmest voice he could manage,

"I-I asked one of the students, and they said they saw you walk up here. I just wanted to check up on you, that's all. …I-I also thought to myself, why not have some fresh air as well? It could do me good…" _God! My lame excuses!!!_

Jacq immediately saw the doubt and untruthfulness in his eyes. _What is he up to? This isn't how he usually behaves…I should be careful._  
Putting on a face of cruel contempt, she casually said,  
"Oh really? …Well…, if that is all…then would you leave? I want some peace and quiet right now if you don't mind."

There was a dead silence.

As Umeda froze at Jacq's brutally cold expression, something exploded within him. Without any control, he strode almost angrily towards her with an incomprehensible look. Jacq immediately stood up to face him and prepared herself for something nasty. She even clenched her fists, in case if he meant to hurt her.

"What do you want!? Don't come any closer! I'm warning y –"

Before she could finish her sentence, she felt his strong arms wrap around her; then his warm and eager lips closed over her mouth. It was intoxicating. Her mind churned to turmoil, and she stood dumbfounded as her first kiss melted into his tongue.

After what seemed an age, Umeda finally pulled back and studied her face. Jacq instinctively lowered her head and stared at the ground with her face on fire.

"Don't hide, look at me."

--------------------------------------------------------------

**A/N(end)**: Wow!!! How did you like it? Was it good or bad? Personally, I think this is the best chapter so far!!!

Ok, some explanations…

les grenouilles means frogs and usu. refers to the French delicacy of 'frog's legs'

les escargots means snails, it's another delicacy usu. served with the shell on and a special utensil is used to pull the cooked snail out

la baguette is the famous French bread of course (long, crunchy bread)

foie gras is another French delicacy called goose liver usu. made into a paste of some kind

All of these are delicious!!! So try some if you dare!!!!


	8. A note for my readers!

**For my fatigued readers (who are still hanging on a cliff after chapter 7):**

Gome, gome, gome (times a hundred)!!!!!

This is not a chapter. I'm submitting this to tell my readers (impatient ones) why I haven't updated recently.

The only thing I have to blame is…exams!!! I have been on quite a work overload with exams and also various work around the house. So sorry again for not satisfying you with more Jacq x Umeda drama.

I just wanna make it clear that I HAVE NOT given up on the story, it means too much to me for me to just give it up. So as soon as this 1st lot of exams are over, (yes, there is a 2nd lot coming in November…sob), I will submit one and maybe two more chapters. After this, there will again be a period of delay (2nd lot of exams) but then once this 2nd lot is over…I will be back to normal pace!!

God! How I yearn for the days after all my exams are over for this year!! Wish it were tomorrow (or the next day if that was in any way possible…I'm not _that_ picky you know…)

Ok, enough rambling and complaints!

Hope you all continue to support me and wish me luck for my exams!! (……the time constant depends on the resistance and the capacitance in the circuit…the charges are stored….Oh no! What the hell was that formula again?...Urgh!!)

----------------------------

From a stressed author, Tina


	9. Picture Page, will update occasionally

Ok, here's the deal, hope you like what I have prepared for you!!

This page will be a fun **Picture Page** for putting links to drawings that have some relation to my story!!!

They could be done by me or by my story fans!

Most likely, they will be done by an awesome reader of mine called "earthseas-Tehanu". Tehanu is simply the best!! I'm so grateful to have such a wonderful reader!!!

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Please **check this page from time to time**, because I'll be putting on more links as I **do** **more** or **receive** **more** pictures!!!

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**1st batch of pics (17 October 2007):** _Sorry for all the stuff inside brackets - this fanfiction site won't allow links - so just copy&paste into address bar and do the **dots** and **forward slashes** manually..._

# http://www _(dot)_ i241 _(dot) _photobucket _(dot) _com _(forward slash) _albums _(forward slash) _ff257 _(forward slash) _cinconneal _(forward slash) _CopyofScan10001 _(dot) _jpg  
(this is my 'out of proportion' drawing of Jacq. It is how I picture her to be in school uniform – give me some feedback if you like it…)

# http://www _(dot)_ i241 _(dot) _photobucket _(dot) _com _(forward slash) _albums _(forward slash) _ff257 _(forward slash) _cinconneal _(forward slash) _U-one-shot1 _(dot) _jpg  
(this is **Part 1** of earthseas-Tehanu's manga one-shot - **it complements chapter 7 **- really good! Give feedback to her if you can...)

# http://www _(dot)_ i241 _(dot) _photobucket _(dot) _com _(forward slash) _albums _(forward slash) _ff257 _(forward slash) _cinconneal _(forward slash) _U-one-shot2 _(dot) _jpg  
(this is **Part 2** of earthseas-Tehanu's manga one-shot - **also complements chapter 7** - I love it! Again, give feedback...)

**P.S.** earthseas-Tehanu said that the links above only worked for her when she put **www(dot)** in front of that **i241** bit. So if you are/were having problems viewing these pics, I've put in www. Ok, hope you enjoy these!!!!!!

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**2nd batch of pics (20 October 2007):** _well, it's actually just 1 pic...lol (**remeber to do the dots and fwd slashes manually and cut out all the 'spaces' too!**)_

# http://www_ (dot) _i241_ (dot) _photobucket_ (dot) _com_ (fwd slash) _albums_ (fwd slash) _ff257_ (fwd slash) _cinconneal_ (fwd slash)_ photoshop-banner-f_ (dot) _gif  
(this is the excellent banner a reader called Aki Hotaru did for me!! It's CG but it's still sooo good!!! Her username on this site is 'AkiHotaru91')


	10. Chap 8 Revelation2

**A/N(start):** Here's your long awaited chappy!  
I have just added another picture link to the Picture Page! If you were **having trouble viewing** the 1st batch of pictures, I've added **www**_**(dot)**_ in front of the **i241** bit; earthseas-Tehanu said that was how she made them work.  
This new picture I added is a SUPERB banner that another reader did for my story! IT IS SOOO GOOD!!!! You just HAVE to see it!!!! It is computer-generated but still…it is just brilliant!!!

Ok, onto the story…

**Chapter 8:**

"Don't hide, look at me"

Struggling to bring back her usual indifference to awkward situations, Jacq slowly lifted her head and met his eyes with hers.  
_They are so beautiful and tempting, you make me want to kiss you again, Jacq……_

Self-conscious and disbelieving, Jacq did not know what to think anymore.

"W-why did you kiss me just now sensei…? Doesn't your heart only contain Ryouichi?! If so, don't play with me like this! I will _not_ brook any disappointment!! …We have both hurt one another in our own different ways, but after that kiss you just gave me…I don't wanna fool around anymore…. Tell me what you meant by it!"

Tilting his head slightly to one side, Umeda contemplated over Jacq's words…. _He doesn't trust me. He thinks I'm just playing with him as usual…I don't blame him…I usually do love playing with bishounens. However, this time, it's not like that……!!_

"Jacq…I understand your suspicions and I know I'm the type that usually fools around with love. But you don't know how I've been struggling to hide my blooming attraction towards you recently…. I hardly know myself anymore…I say these sissy things and get these weak feelings inside…. It seems that facing your coldness hurts me…yet _not_ facing it just kills me even more! I really don't know what to do, now that you've made me truly love again…and if you do not accept my love…you will justly murder me…!!"

Swooping down on her, Umeda kissed her again with more passion than the last. This time, Jacq couldn't help but kiss him back with equal if not more ardour. _If your words are true Hokuto…then you have made me so happy! I am yours…if you really want me…_

When he stopped, he asked,  
"Oh, one question that's been bugging me…. What's going on between you and Nakatsu? You have no idea how it has been tormenting me…."

_Chuckles_ "Oh, come on Ume – I mean, Hokuto…you should know me too well to know that I would love nothing better than to torture you as much as I can. Therefore, don't expect me to answer the question."

_Shakes his head with a smile_ "That's what I love about you Jacq. I just love your brutality, cruelty, coldness, contempt and evilness! It puts me under the guillotine and yet I can't deny how it rouses so much suppressed love within me…You really have a way with me…you see through me like cellophane, and I'm not afraid to admit it! I love you so much Jacq!!"

Supporting the small of her back with his right hand, Umeda pulled her close. With his other hand, he caught the nape of her neck and tucked her head within the arc beneath his chin. Stroking her hair, Umeda tenderly kissed her locks and took in her scent.

Overcome by love and happiness, Jacq embraced him back with all her heart. Breathing in his cologne from his chest and running her hands along his back, her thoughts halted and her mind stilled. It was at this moment of carelessness, Jacq let loose her aura…

-----P-----

Umeda froze in his caress. With his level of intuition, there was no way he could not have noticed. He pulled back and stared at her with utter bewilderedness. He looked shocked and lost for words. There was denial and fear in his eyes. His intuition told him one thing, but his mind was confused and believed another… _H-how could this be?!_

Jacq stood rooted to the spot, shocked by her instant of weakness and stupidity. _How did I…how did I slip just then? …Is love really such a powerful and fearful thing…? I-I didn't mean for you to find out yet…. What must you think of me!!? …I'm not prepared yet for your reactions and questions…please try to understand!!_

"W-would you please not look at me like that Hokuto? I-I don't know what to say to you…. All I know is that I love you…and have loved you for a long time. Th-the only way I could make you love me back was by looking and behaving like a guy…I don't want to lose you like this Hokuto…would you at least try to understand my motives? My intentions were good… but I know my method of approach was irrational and hurtful…. All I wanted was you, and on an act of desperation, this was the selfish measure I took…I –"

"Don't!! Don't say anymore! I don't want to hear another word!! Y-you have tricked me…_that_ is the hideous truth! I didn't think you were _this_ cruel Jacq…I thought you had a good heart beneath that brutal mask of yours…_sigh_ but I guess I was wrong.  
I thought _I_ was the guilty one playing with your feelings…but it seems that you had me in your palm the whole time…! _You_ were the one manipulating me…. Don't expect me to have _any_ sympathy for you!!!"

With that, he stormed for the staircase leading down from the roof and without even taking a single backward glance at Jacq, he slammed the door and disappeared down the stairs.

-----P-----

Jacq was paralysed and suddenly felt that all life was sucked out of everything. The pain compressed upon her like thin vacuum and she'd hardly any energy left neither to stand nor to speak. _I hurt him…I've hurt him so badly…! I'm so brutal…yet I cannot change that. Will his love for me endure? Will his love make him forgive me?  
I __**will not**__ beg for his forgiveness …I have too much pride to do that. Either he comes for me or I will suffer alone until he says he no longer loves me…. However, I don't know if I'll be able to recover if he withdraws his love from me…I have done too much, gone too far…I really don't think I'll be able to bear the disappointment!!_

Just then, the bell rang for afternoon classes. Dragging her leaden feet along the concrete roof, she opened the door to the staircase and went down to class.

-----P-----

"Why??!! Why, Jacq??!!!" Umeda paced his office with mad eyes and almost clawed at his hair as he remembered all the things Jacq said or did. He now realised that _everything_ she did might have been planned and all the words she said, practised…. He felt a fool and yet the love he had for her still stayed despite everything…

_I was a complete ass to love him – her!! How did he – she go past my detection?! His – her…oh god!! I'm so confused!!! There is just __**no way**__ I can love her! It's impossible. My body rejects women……and yet…my mind cannot reject __**her**__!! I don't understand myself anymore! What am I to think? What am I supposed to do?!!!_

Sweeping his arm angrily across his desk, he pushed all his paperwork onto the floor and slammed his palms down with a loud thud. Clenching his fists in frustration, Umeda gritted his teeth so tightly that his jaws became numb. He was furious yet confused…he simply did not know what to do…!

-----P-----

"Jacq? Are you alright? After lunch you couldn't even read aloud a simple passage that the teacher gave you…. What's wrong?" Taiki's concern comforted Jacq, but it did nothing to ease her pain…

"Taiki…Hok – I mean, Umeda sensei…he…he found out that I'm a girl…"

"What?!! How? Did our training fail? Is he that sensitive?"

"No, under your instructions this would never have happened…. It was my fault…I…. Well, he kissed me today on the rooftop of one of the buildings, and my head became dizzy with so much love and happiness…in a moment of empty mindedness…I slipped…"

"You slipped……I never expected love to have such a big effect on your disguise…but it's too late to be saying that now…. So how did he react?"

"He…he was infuriated with how I tricked and lied to him…He seemed so bitter Taiki…I really don't think he'll ever forgive me…"

Suddenly, all of Jacq's calm sedateness left her and silent tears crept from her usually cold dark blue eyes. No longer could she hide her heartache, and in front of Taiki, she exposed her inner sufferings that had been suppressed until now…

"J-Jacq! P-please don't cry…. Y-you hardly ever cry! Is the pain so overwhelming? _Sigh_ I wish I could do something to help…considering that I was the one who agreed and even helped you to come to the school as a boy…I really shou –"

"N-no, …i-it's ok…. It's not your f-fault…_sniff_ it really isn't. I-I just need some time to recover and think about my situation…but thank you so much for everything…If it weren't for you…I-I don't think I would have lasted s-so long in front of Umeda. So I thank you Taiki…"

Walking together the rest of the way to the dorms, they were both gravely silent. Fortunately, Nakatsu had soccer practise after school on Fridays, otherwise Jacq would have had to suppress her feelings for much longer than she would have liked to endure.

-----P-----

With his paperwork still scattered across his office floor, Umeda sat with an expression of deep thought and yet struggle. He seemed to be trying to decide something…yet could not come to a conclusion.

Suddenly he stood up and stayed very still.

"Right! I'll do it! I have to start somewhere…and if this is the first step, then…so be it!! Perhaps if I do this…I'll be able to make a decision about Jacq easier…it must be done!!"

Picking up his coat, Umeda hurried out of his office, locked the door with a shaky hand and made a call to Ryouichi.

-----P-----

"So what's wrong darling? Why were you so eager to invite me out tonight? Or did you just want to see me, my love?"

"…Would you stop calling me 'love' and 'darling'? I-I'm _sick_ of hearing your untruthful endearments, lies and your insincerity." _I must do this…I need to settle this… go on, do it!!_

Ryouichi paused on a mid-puff of his cigarette and slowly turned to face Umeda.

"What was that you said? I don't think I heard you clearly…"

Ryouichi's arrogant sarcasm suddenly lit a fire of anger and confidence within Umeda, and the bitterness that was hidden for years poured out like the water from a bursting dam.

"You heard perfectly what I said! Stop what you're doing! Stop being a selfish narcissist; quit playing with my feelings for your enjoyment, your greed and also to fill up your black hole of an ego! I finally see no point in maintaining this poisonous connection between us, with the toxins only flowing one way and with me having to suffer for it!!!  
I'm speaking so fast and yet I know _exactly_ what I'm talking about! At last I had the courage to say this straight to your face and without feeling the slightest fear!! I'm sorry Ryouichi…but I'm _finally_ finished with you!!!"

Ryouichi sat speechless in response to what he had just heard. He could not believe that Umeda had so much bottled up inside him. For some strange reason, he did not feel hurt, he was too cruel to know the meaning of that word. He was usually the one doing the hurting and compared to what he has done before, what Umeda just said was nothing!

_Chuckles_ "So tell me, who changed you so much? Is it another one of those fake bishounen lovers at your school? I'd really love to meet this o –"

"Don't you dare talk about someone you don't know as if they were trash! You're the real trash Ryouichi! I loved you for so long…yet all you ever did was ignored and played with my feelings! I've done what I came here to do tonight, and so if you would be so kind…delete my cell number from your phone and never contact me unless if you've got an emergency! Good night!"

Leaving Ryouichi sitting at the bar with a slightly open mouth and a raised eyebrow, Umeda stepped out into the cool night air and suddenly felt so light. _Now all that's left is Jacq's problem…I still can't quite forgive her yet but at least one thing is out of the way…I'm finally free of this awkward relationship!_

-----P-----

_Hokuto…Hokuto…can you hear my heart calling for you? Where are you?_

Tormented by her distress, Jacq could not stay in her room with a talkative Nakatsu, and slipped out without a word when he went to use the bathroom.  
Presently strolling along the streets, lit only by the cold phantasmal street lamps, Jacq felt calm yet more lonely and empty than ever before. She felt guilty and had almost lost all hope that Umeda would ever understand and forgive her for all that she did to him.

Amidst her worries, her sixth sense dulled, and she did not notice three guys following her in stealth. By the time she felt that something was wrong, it was already too late…

"Hey pretty face!"

"What are you doing hanging out on the streets this late?"

"Wanna join us for some fun tonight?"

Darting her eyes in all directions, Jacq came to the horrifying realisation that she was surrounded by those teenage boys she heard about in the school newsletters. It had said that they did not care what gender their victims were. All that mattered was that by morning, their prey had been played and messed with as much as possible…she was going to meet the same fate……

Before she could even utter one word of protest, she was dragged into a dark alley and struggled in vain as her hands and feet became bound on various pipes and poles. She sat with her arms and legs apart, and gave one last long cry of terror before they taped her mouth.

-----P-----

Making his way back to the school, Umeda suddenly felt very uncomfortable. It was as if he could feel something bad was going to happen or was happening. He looked around him and felt uneasy as the darkness and silence crushed him. He wanted to get back to his room as soon as possible and quickened his steps along the faintly lit pavement.

Then he heard it.

A long cry of fear and alarm echoed in his ears as he neared the school. It seemed to come from nowhere and yet reached him like a torrent that hit him in all directions. It sounded familiar…but he couldn't quite make out who it was. Following the sound as quickly and as accurately as he could, he stumbled upon an almost pitched-black alley between two old buildings. Looking closer and squinting his eyes in the weak light, he suddenly saw four shadows of teenagers…one of which was…

"JACQ??!!!!"

He had got there not a moment too soon. They had stripped off her uniform and were just about to discover the vest underneath her singlet. He saw the expression on her petrified face and guessed what had happened instantly.  
Umeda froze for but a second and then with a surge of madness, he ran towards the three boys and began opening wounds in a fierce fight.

Blood brightened their shirts and smeared across the walls as Umeda took his turn with the boys, one at a time. By the time the last one had fled, Umeda's hands were covered in blood and many gashes had appeared on his face where one of them had cut with a knife. Picking up the knife from the ground, Umeda used it to break her free and then swiftly removed the tape from her mouth.

Rubbing her wrists and ankles for her, Umeda seemed more concerned about her state of mind than his own wounds. Jacq's voice disappeared and the only thing she managed to do which showed her gratitude was the on-rush of her rare tears. Finally finding her voice…

"H-Hokuto…how did you find me? Did you really feel my fear or did you hear my cry?"

"Both."

Staring into his eyes, Jacq wanted to believe that he had forgiven her…but she was still too proud to ask for it. _Oh stop it! Just ask him Jacqueline! Did he not just save your life?!_

"D-do you…I mean…are you still mad about what happened on the rooftop Hok –"

"If I was, would I have bothered to save you just now?! …I have my dignity as well Jacq…but my love for you is too strong…I can't seem to hate you despite what you have done to me…. You have no idea how confused I am…I wonder if I'm still gay…. But, to answer your deep-down question…yes, I have forgiven you."

More tears streamed down her cheeks but now they were ones of joy. Without warning, she wrapped her arms around his neck and between her sobs she managed to say,

"I-I'm so sorry Hokuto…I'm sorry to have hurt you so…. It's just that I loved you too much and since I knew you hated women…this was the only way I could think of…. I regret acting so recklessly and continuously being brutal an –"

Shutting her up with a firm and forceful kiss…it felt as if he was trying to let out all of his frustration and confusion. Jacq could feel the emotions behind the kiss as she tasted blood in his mouth from the fight. Pulling back, she suggested that they head back to school. Smiling down at her, Umeda suddenly picked her up, with her arms still around his neck.

"No Hokuto!! You're hurt! I can walk! Please don't hurt yourself more than you already are…"

He would not listen. Despite his aching pains, he carried her back to school, up the stairs to the second floor of the registration building and into his room right by his office. Carefully placing her onto his bed, he went into the bathroom to attend his wounds. Jacq saw him flinch in pain and immediately followed him to be of assistance.

They looked at each other…then burst into laughter for their own foolishness in so many things.

-----P-----

_Chuckles _"It's ok Hokuto! I can tuck myself in! I'm not a ten-year-old anymore!"

Umeda stood, looking down upon her as she lay on his bed. So vulnerable…so tempting…. All of a sudden, both of them became nervous. Their hearts thumped against the wall of their chest like the unpredictable sea against the rocks. Jacq experienced a strange fear similar to that time when she felt like a lamb in the mercy of a wolf; but this time, this fear was mixed with love and anticipation. For Umeda, this was the first time he became so close with a woman… and his body felt stiff and had not its usual suaveness like he had with men.

In spite of this…they loved each other for who they are inside…it should not matter what gender they are…so long as their love was pure…everything will come naturally…

"J-Jacq…do you want me?"

--------------------------------------------------------

**A/N(end):** Right now I'm actually feeling a little giddy and fearful about what you thought of that last bit…. Tell me pleeeeease how I did with this chapter's ending (and the beginning & middle too if you can manage), because I want to know if I made a good job there on the cliff-hanger…hehe!

Look forward to the next chappy! I work hard to write for you in spite of my exam pressures…so please review! (btw, my 1st lot of exams are over for now…so that's why I could write. They will start again in November so bear with me…!)


	11. Chap 9  Pride

**A/N(start):** OMG, OMG!! I'm about to write something I've never done before! I hope you will like it and I hope it's not over-done! Please review, and tell me how I did in this intimate scene! ---trembling with fear/excitement---

**Chapter 9:**

"J-Jacq…do you want me?"

Jacq's heart skipped a beat as she heard his tempting words…._He sure knows how to make himself seem innocent and irresistible…… God! You are so sly Hokuto…let me tease you for a bit…_

_Chuckles_ "If you're going to ask such a stupid question, you might as well ask yourself. I mean, it's not like I want you more than you want me…in fact, I think it's the other way around…"

Taken aback, Umeda suddenly looked hurt,  
"Can't you feel the confusion and uncertainty in my voice? Don't torment me like this, Jacq…"

Hearing his lack of confidence and awkwardness, Jacq smiled contently…_Very well, I shall torment you no more…. Let me begin…_

With one swift movement, she got up and knelt on the edge of the bed to face him. Her face now almost levelled with his, she gazed ardently into his eyes and with her fingers, she traced his sharply defined jawline.

"Oh Hokuto…I didn't mean to tease you just now…. But you don't know how much I've been through, how much I've suffered to reach this stage with you. You don't know how you make me feel when I'm around you, and you don't understand what you did to me when you were initially contemptuous towards me. Therefore, to me, your question just now seemed so thoughtless, and I couldn't help but give you a little punishment. …Oh don't ever doubt me again Hokuto! …I want you more than I've ever wanted anyone, and the _last_ thing I want is for you to feel hesitant and uncertain about my desire for you…"

After listening to her words, Umeda beamed understandingly. He stroked her hair and brushed it out of her beautiful sapphire eyes. She then started to caress and kiss his face, letting her hands glide across his shoulders. Whenever and wherever she touched him, he reacted to her and almost trembled with his lust. He couldn't believe how much he responded to this…girl!! Even Ryouichi did not have such a potent effect on him!  
He flinched as Jacq tenderly kissed the wounds on his face, occasionally re-opening a cut and tasting the blood from it. He didn't protest, however, and let her have him as she made her way across his cheek and back along his mandible.

Coming down slowly, she nipped at his earlobe and licked his Adam's apple until she forced him to moan with intoxicated pleasure. Tugging at his shirt, she ripped it off him and blindly explored his flawless torso. Momentarily rising herself to secure his mouth, her hands continued to travel downwards and counted the six smooth-edged muscle packs on his abdomen.

She pulled back from her kiss…  
"Why is my Hokuto's six-pack not as robust as it should be?"

Blushing with indignation, he stuttered,  
"How da – I – it's all due to helping idiots such as yourself that I can't have any spare time to go to the gym anymore! …Don't mock me and rub in the lamentable fact that I've slaved away my best years for the welfare of this school!!"

_Grinning_ "Oh, I'm not mocking you my sweet…I'm happy to be loved by such a clever guy like you, and I'm proud that you are so passionate about your work! I will always support you!"

"…Y-you are so difficult to understand Jacq! You're so cruel, and yet…sometimes you amaze me by revealing a very different and sweet side of you! What _is_ your true personality? I really get frustrated whenever I try to figu –"

Stopping him with a finger on his lips, she pouted and said,  
"You love me for who I am, so don't you _dare_ complain…"

Halting his breath, she continued the kiss that was interrupted. With her hands, she gently clawed at his back; with her mouth, she gradually kissed his body…lower…and lower…and lower…until her chin brushed against his belt.

She paused and arched up her neck to look up at him. His eyes seemed to urge her on and she reached for the buckle on his belt.  
Suddenly, he grabbed her wrists and thrust her down onto the bed. He went down with her and pressed his entire body against hers.

Breathing hard, he seemed to have reached his limit and had enough of being the victim of her mild sadistic abuse. His heart pounded against her breast as he uttered one single phrase…

"It's my turn."

Jacq grinned with satisfaction as they beheld one another's eyes for one moment longer.  
Unable to contain their lust anymore, they both fumbled with each other's clothes and lost themselves under the sheets, …protected by the possessive embrace of the intense and rhythmic night.

-----P-----

Being woken by a loving kiss is something that must be experienced to know its warmth…or in Umeda's case…its annoyance.

"Mmm…Jacq…5 more minutes…"

"Aww…but it's already ten-thirty in the morning, and I was thinking of…going out today with you…"

"Oh yeah…it is Saturday isn't it? …I'm so tired…just give me half-an-hour and I'll be up…"

"You said 5 minutes! …Oh, very well…I suppose you did use up too much energy last night…"

_Smiling_ "Do you mean the fight? Or do you mean the intercourse?"

"Well…if you want to admit that you're so weak only after a couple of hours of sex…that's fine by me."

Suddenly opening his eyes, Umeda playfully glared at Jacq and punched her on the shoulder.

"Oww! How dare you punch me?!"

Without warning, Jacq leapt on top of Umeda and tickled him until tears appeared in the corners of his eyes.

"Al-alright! Alright! I'm sorry, …and I'm up!"

Sitting up with Jacq still on top of him, Umeda grabbed her thighs and wrapped her legs around his waist. Jacq was caught by surprise then blushed as he pulled her close and crushed her chest as he embraced her. Her heart felt so warm and her head so light, as she slowly began to behave naturally around Umeda and enjoy the love that he gave her. Last night, though Umeda was at first awkward around her, by the end of it, he had also become very relaxed.

"Oh Jacq! I still don't quite understand how you made me love you despite your gender! I look at you now, and I know you're a girl…but…I don't care anymore!! I just know that I love you!"

_Grinning_ "Thank you for your compliment…I pride myself on my success, but really…it wasn't too hard…. You were not a difficult prey…"

Wanting to bite off her head, Umeda ended up taking her breath away instead…. Expressing his anger and love, he gave her a fervently forceful kiss, which almost felt that it would break her jaw. Enjoying his frustration, Jacq kissed him back with equal force and it wasn't until eleven o'clock before the two of them slowly got out of bed.

-----P-----

Meanwhile, back in the dorms, everyone was looking for Jacq. After disappearing into the night without one word to anyone…Taiki and Nakatsu had both started frantically searching for her within and near the school since the break of dawn.

"Jacq!!! …Jacq!!! …Where are you?!!!" Nakatsu yelled, as he jogged in the streets looking for her. Coming across an old alley, Nakatsu spotted something strange…

It was a top from his school's uniform, and judging from its size…it certainly looked liked Jacq's! Then he saw smears of blood on the walls and the cut ropes lying on the ground…. All kinds of dreadful images passed through his mind as he imagined what could've happened here. His heart suddenly felt heavy…, instinctively, he grabbed the uniform and ran back to school.

-----P-----

"Taiki! I think I found him! …Or at least what might've happened to him…"

Describing what he saw and holding up the top of the uniform, Nakatsu looked so worried and stricken…. He almost seemed a little ghost-like with his blood-drained colouring and the dark circles under his eyes.

"D-don't worry, Nakatsu…sh – he usually just gets lost…I'm sure he'll appear soon enough." _Shoot! I almost said "she"!! I'm so worried for her that I almost let my tongue slip!! Where are you Jacq?!!!_

-----P-----

"I'm all set! Your old clothes are still a bit big for me…but they'll do. Ready Hokuto?"

"I just need a minute with my cuts and bruises. I'll be ready shortly…ouch!"

Going over to help him apply the bandages, Jacq finally saw the severity of them in the bright daylight. She frowned with concern…but somehow felt a little happy…because these wounds were acquired because he loved her…and this warmed her heart.

-----P-----

Closing the door behind them and locking up his room, Umeda firmly held Jacq's hand as they went down the stairs and out the building. Nearing the school gates, Jacq suddenly heard loud voices calling for her from not far away. She whipped round...

"Jacq!!!" Taiki yelled as he ran towards her.

As the rest of her friends caught up, Jacq suddenly noticed Nakatsu falling behind them. His face was shocking…he looked almost drained of energy, and if it were not for his soccer tracksuit, Jacq wouldn't even have recognised him.

"Jacq!!!! Where the hell have you been?!! We've all been looking for you and worried sick!!" Taiki's angry voice immediately reminded her that she had left her room without telling anyone the night before. She felt guilty and stood there without knowing what to say.

"…Y-your safe…I-I thought something really bad had happened to you when I thought I found your uniform in an old alley near our school. There were cut ropes and blood everywh……" Nakatsu had arrived, and his weak voice trailed off as his feelings struggled to switch from anxiety to relief.

Suddenly, he strode rapidly towards Jacq and wrapped his arms tightly behind her back. Hugging her close he tried to force back the tears that were swelling up in his eyes. His usual cheerfulness was all gone, and even a fool could tell what he felt for her.

Jacq froze in his embrace and was touched by his overwhelming concern for her safety. In the end, she managed to free herself and assured him that she was okay,

"…Umeda-sensei got there just in time and the gang escaped with some severe injuries. It's alright now. I promise I'll be more careful next time…"

Upon hearing this, Nakatsu went over to thank Umeda…intending to hug him as well. But Umeda was too quick and backed away just in time,

"R-really, it was nothing…I just happened to be at the right place at the right time. I bet if it was you, Nakatsu, you would've done the same…right?"

Biting back his tears of gratitude, Nakatsu thanked Umeda again, and slowly regained some of his positive self. He even got back his appetite and asked Jacq where she was going to have lunch today.

Looking at Umeda, Jacq signalled her apologies; she then told Nakatsu that she'd love to go to that same restaurant with him again if he wanted.

"Alright!! Let's all go and forget about this ridiculous incident!!" It seemed that Nakatsu was back to normal.

"I-I'll be in my office if anyone needs me."

"What? Sensei, you're not coming with us?" Nakatsu asked.

"N-no…I've got some paperwork I forgot to do…I'll go back now and finish it."

Gazing after her love, Jacq was a little sorry to ditch him like this…but she knew him too well and would never force him to do anything if he did not want to. Smiling to herself, Jacq followed the others. She then looked at Nakatsu, and sensed that something had awoken within him…

-----P-----

_Damn that Nakatsu! Embracing her without my permission and then taking her away from me!! ...But I suppose I should commend you for worrying so much about her…you really do love her don't you? I almost feel sorry for you…if only you knew she was a girl, you wouldn't be as confused as you are now…. Yet you mustn't know…otherwise you might start loving her with all your heart…and I don't know if she'll still place me before you…. Darn! I shouldn't doubt her like this…she loves me so deeply……_

As he raised his hand to unlock the door to his office, his cell rang.

"Hello?..."

"Umeda-senpai!! Aww, hearing your voice just melts me…. Umm, could you meet me at the café near the school like right now? I've got something to discuss with you"

"…Akiha? Oh no…No way am I meeting you 'anywhere'!! I can't believe you called me! Just leave me alone would you?!" Holding his cell like a rotten fruit, Umeda simply wanted to hang up and end the conversation.

"No wait!!! Seriously senpai, I really need to talk to you about something important! Will you please meet me at that small café?"

"…Can't you just tell me on the phone right now? I really don –"

"I need to show you something! I'm begging you senpai…please just come!"

Groaning with annoyance, Umeda finally replied that he'll be there in 15 minutes.

"Thank you senpai!! I'll love you forever for this!! You don't know how much I've misse –"

Hanging up on Akiha, Umeda almost felt sick and hatefully regretted agreeing to meet him. _Darn it!! Why am I such a softy sometimes? I know I can be exceptionally cruel but why can't I use it when I need to?? I blame this on you Jacq! If you were beside me, I'd have an excuse not to see him……oh what the heck……_

-----P-----

"Sweet Senpai! You came after all!! Here, take the seat beside me." Akiha had been waiting patiently in the café for Umeda and was waving frantically as he walked in.

"…Uhh..I think I'll just take the seat facing you…I can't be too cautious with you…. Anyway, what was it that you wanted to show me?"

"Aww senpai! Don't you want to ask how I've been and talk about how you're going recently? You know, have a bit of a lead-in beforehand?"

"Cut the crap would you? Just get on with what you wanted to show me."

"…Very well. Here, smell this." Akiha replied as he handed Umeda a very refined glass bottle of cologne.

_Shakes his head and smiles_ "Is this what you wanted to show me? I can't believe you Akiha…why would I be interested in a bottle of perf –"

Umeda halted as the breathtaking aroma escaped from the bottle in his hand. It was…different…very different to any perfume he had ever come across. It had a light yet passionate scent…it suggested lust yet it tempted the inhaler and made them yearn for more. Umeda had never known such a fragrance and its impact clearly showed on his face.

"..Now are you interested senpai?" Smiled Akiha with an evil look…

"…You want me to buy it? …Alright..how much?"

"I don't want you to _buy_ it…I would like you to _advertise_ it for me…"

"What?! You want me to be your model? …You are out of your mind!!"

"Well, I can't really get a high school boy to do it! …The perfume quality is too high and I need a guy who looks mature and seductive. The first person I thought of was you!! Please consider it!"

"You know perfectly well that I will _never_ accept this offer! Now, I have more important things to do…good-bye." Umeda was gathering up his coat and was just standing up when Akiha reached over and pushed him down by the shoulders.

"Look. This project means a lot to me and if it is successful, I am guaranteed to secure an international reputation as a photographer. I don't want to bribe you or anything…but if this is successful, the money earned from this…I will split fifty-fifty with you. Now, you know me Umeda. As a professional photographer, my rule of thumb is to only photograph the ones that I like; the models I can gain emotional inspiration from…. In this project, I can't find anyone else, other than you, which would be compatible with the project _and_ with me. Trust me; I know this will be a great success."

With Akiha staring at him with such ambitious and determined eyes, Umeda wavered for a moment. _I don't want to do this! …But if he really wants to pursue his dream…and if I truly am the missing link to his success…… 'sigh'… should I help him?_

-----P-----

"Oh Jacq! That was seriously a great meal! I feel so stuffed!"

"Yeah, I know Nakatsu…I'm surprised that everyone else ate almost as much as us!!  
Hey Sano! How much steak did you eat in the end?"

"About six pieces…but then it turned to eight when Mizuki really couldn't finish his."

"Even _I_ ate so much! I blame Jacq for worrying us and I suppose the panic made us all hungry..." laughed Taiki

As the group walked back to the dorms, they passed by the café near the school. Jacq and Nakatsu ate the most, so they lagged behind the rest…

"…H-hey…isn't that Umeda sensei? …Nakatsu, would you go ahead and tell the others I'll be back soon? I just need to talk to sensei for a minute."

"No way am I leaving you all by yourself again! I need to see to it that you're safe! …I won't bother you…I'll wait here while you go in and talk to him."

Smiling at Nakatsu, Jacq really felt that he had changed a bit since her disappearance. _He's become even more considerate towards me than he was before…is that actually a bad sign for me…? Never mind that, I need to see Hokuto first…_

-----P-----

"So what do you say my beloved Umeda? Will you do it?"

"…I really am reluctant…. But if it means _that_ much to you, …if I really will help you go the distance and gain your success…then I'll do it…"

Jumping up from his seat, Akiha rushed over to Umeda and embraced him with all his might. Showering him with kisses, Akiha lost all control as Umeda struggled to free himself.

Jacq froze.

Standing in the doorway, Jacq had heard what the 'stranger' called Umeda… and of course, seen what he was doing to Umeda right at that moment. _W-who is he? W-why is he being so intimate with my Hokuto? Why isn't Hokuto resisting him very much? …Are they…are they lovers? It can't be that Ryouichi guy…this one seems too warm and pathetic. …Then it must be one of Hokuto's fake lovers…but then…why would they get together now? Especially after……after last night with me…and why would Hokuto want to help this guy with his…success…??_

Jacq wanted to rush over and demand an explanation…but her pride wouldn't let her…. Commanding her heavy feet to move at last, Jacq turned and walked out of the café. Just before she closed the door behind her, Umeda caught sight of her out of the corner of his eye. Staring wide eyed, he pushed Akiha away and said he needed to go back to school now. He hurriedly rushed out, intending to catch up to Jacq and explain to her…

But she had gone.

Looking across the street, Umeda couldn't spot her anywhere…_where did you go? I must find you!!_

-----P-----

Glass after glass, Jacq downed the wine and felt dizzier and fainter as each gulp intoxicated her mind. Nakatsu tried to stop her…but in vain,

"Jacq! What's wrong? Stop! Stop hurting yourself!! Come on, let's go back to the dorms!!"

"..You..go..back..first…. I need to stay..j-just..a little..bit..longer…" Jacq replied drunkenly.

Unable to stand this any longer, Nakatsu pulled Jacq up from the bar's stool and practically carried her out after paying the barman.

Staggering out the bar, Nakatsu supported her with one arm on her waist and slung one of her arms over his shoulder. Frowning with concern, he really didn't know what to say to her or how to ask any questions…

-----P-----

_Where the hell is she?! I asked the restaurant they were dining at…but the group had left about half-an-hour ago. I'll go search for her in the dorms then…she should be back by now…I need to explain to her…_

As Umeda walked quickly back towards the school, he spotted Nakatsu and Jacq in the distance. He couldn't see properly, but it was definitely them…

_Wait a minute…why has he got his arm around her waist like that? How dare you touch my love?!! …I'll show you a thing or two you idiot!!_

-----P-----

"Jacq…umm…may I ask why you got yourself drunk immediately after coming out of that café? …You don't have to answer me if you don't want to…"

Jacq was 'so' drunk that she didn't even take in a single word Nakatsu had said. Instead, her mind was filled with jealousy and sorrow…_Why did you do that Hokuto? Why see another guy?_

"Oh Hokuto…why..do..y-you..hurt me? W-who was that…stranger?..."

"What?! H-Hokuto? You called Umeda-sensei by his first name?! Is ther –" Before Nakatsu could finish his sentence, Jacq suddenly bent over and kissed him hard. Her kiss was filled with yearning and of sadness. Tears began to swell in her eyes as she grabbed Nakatsu's neck and explored his mouth with anger and frustration.

Nakatsu stopped in his tracks and was shocked beyond belief…his stomach turned and his mind went blank as he succumbed to Jacq's potent kiss……

-----P-----

Umeda halted abruptly just twenty metres from them. His eyes became blood-shot as he stared at the heart-stilling scene in front of him. He couldn't hear but he could see; his heart rejected yet his eyes would not lie…. His feet became rooted to the ground and he slowly clenched his fists until his nails bore into his palms. Blood dripped onto the ground but Umeda didn't seem to care…

_Is this…is this betrayal Jacq? …Why are you still thinking about that Nakatsu when you have me?!! Am I not good enough for you?! Is 'he' the one you want? …This can't be true…you love me don't you? …You sacrificed so much to win me over…yet……what am I seeing??!!!_

-----P-----

Pulling away from her kiss, Jacq's misty eyes stared up at Nakatsu…

_Chuckles_ "…Did I hurt you enough…just now Hokuto? …Y-you know me…. Once you hurt me..I will..never..forfeit my pride and seek an explanation. …I either take revenge..or I just..never..talk about it…. I-if you want my forgiveness…it's up to you to apologise to me…. I will never ask you myself! …I will never…ever..show my weakness to you!!…"

With that, she almost lost conscience, and Nakatsu caught her only just in time…

-----P-----

Umeda had seen enough. Due to the distance, he still had not realised that Jacq was drunk. All he saw was that after kissing Nakatsu, she had paused for some time…then threw herself on him. Then he saw Nakatsu sweep her off the ground and gritted his teeth as he watched him carry her back to the dorms.

_This time…this time you have gone too far Jacq! …If this is another test of my love…you have gone beyond my limit. …I can't face betrayal any better than I can face disappointment!! …You've hurt me too deep…I cannot and will not forgive you Jacq!!! I will not give it to you as easily as I did when I found out that you were a girl……I have my pride and dignity…and this time, I will not surrender it to you!!! …If you want my love…then come and get it!! …As with you and Nakatsu…I refuse to ask you myself! I simply will not!!!_

Angry tears formed in Umeda's eyes…. He held them in...and took another path. With no particular destination in mind…he wandered onwards and reached a deserted bar. Having no other purpose, he stepped into the dark and hollow place…where he could bury himself wholly within his misery……

---------------------------------------------------------

**A/N(end):** "NOOOO-OO!!" I hear you cry!

Now hold that thought!! Hold onto that feeling!!!

Please wait for me until 30 Nov 07, (after my national exams are over) and find out what will happen next!! I'm planning to submit chap 10 on the 4th or 5th of Dec. So just hold in your feelings for a little while! ...As always, please R&R (also I decided to enable anonymous reviews!)  
Ok! See you, my 'patient' readers…hehe---


	12. Apology to my readers

**Dear all readers:**

This is an apology letter informing my readers that I will no longer continue on with my story – _Sexuality's Labyrinth_.

A few days ago, I was going to submit chapter 10. However, my parents suddenly deleted all 10 chapters of my story from my laptop. Fortunately, I had back-ups of my first 9 chapters…but chapter 10 was lost.

Yesterday, I tried to re-write chapter 10 as best as I could…but my parents found out again. Right now, I am banned from writing any more fanfiction.

I think that the reason why they are so angry is because recently, I have been doing nothing but writing fanfiction, going on the internet, and doing unimportant things. I just thought that I had finished my exams and I wanted to relax.  
But it seems that I am not allowed to relax.  
Next year is an important year for me and so my parents believe that I should not indulge myself in some 'silly story' or 'sit all day long at the PC'.

I am not defiant. So I will listen.

However, I am just really sad that I couldn't get to finish my story for my readers, and I really am very, very sorry to you all.

I know that my parents are right about the necessity to FOCUS at this crucial stage of my life, thus, I will obey. Usually, I do not agree with them and I won't give-in so easily…but this time…they've got a point…and I can't help but listen.

Therefore, I am truly sorry to all the readers who supported me by reading my story…I really am sorry...

Perhaps in the future I may continue with this story, …but for now…please divert your interests from my story and read the many other great stories on the site.

Thank you all for your support and I hope to remain good friends with many of you!

Yours truly,

Tina


	13. Chap 10 Struggle

**A/N(start):** I know my parents banned me from writing any more of this story…but I was so close to finishing chapter 10 that I just HAD TO secretly finish this ONE chapter for you. 'blacksinger' has offered to continue my story for me, so this chapter will act as a lead-in to what 'blacksinger' will continue to write. I'm sooo grateful to her!! Anyhow, please enjoy!!!

**Chapter 10:**

Nakatsu carried Jacq gently into their dorm room and laid her carefully on the lower bunk… He stared down at her…innocently sleeping…and he gulped hard. Shaking himself, he got dressed into his pyjamas, tucked her in, and was just about to climb up into his bed when…

"…H-Hokuto…don't…don't leave me…" In a semi-unconscious state, Jacq had grabbed hold of a part of Nakatsu's top and was pulling him towards her. Nakatsu wanted to resist…but Jacq's hold was too strong despite her drunkenness, and before he knew it…he was forced to lie on the bed beside her.

Jacq opened her foggy eyes and stared at Nakatsu with a cruel expression. She smiled.

Suddenly, she took off her top and used it as a rope to tie Nakatsu's wrists to the rails of the bunk bed.

Nakatsu did not resist one bit. He couldn't resist. He simply gaped at what he saw…

Even in the dim moonlight, Jacq's cleavage showed just above her bindings… and Nakatsu simply stared and went blank. …Finally finding his voice…he asked…

"…J-Jacq…y-you're a…you're a…girl?"

_Chuckles_ "…How can you be so forgetful Hokuto? You already found out ages ago…don't play dumb with me…"

"B-but but but… how could this be?! Y-you can't be a g-girl…how did you hide it from everyone?"

"I had Taiki…silly Hokuto…. Taiki trained me for 2 months and I completely transformed into a guy…in behaviour, aura, speech, and even mind! No one could tell…not even you, Hokuto!" Jacq grinned the whole time that she was talking, and secured Nakatsu's wrists firmly to the head of the bed.

"Why did you do that? Why would you enrol into an all-boy's school Jacq? Don't you think that's a bit stu –"

Pressing a finger on his lips, "Don't you dare say I'm stupid when I came here because of YOU!! I came here to pursue you…yet…tonight…you…betrayed me Hokuto…"

Confused…Nakatsu continued questioning, "What do you mean Jacq?"

"What do I mean? …You know perfectly well what I mean!! You were with that stranger at the café…and…he was so intimate with you!! …How dare you Hokuto to even _think_ about betraying me!! I won't forgive you for this!!!"

With that Jacq drove her tongue deep within his mouth, attempting to crush his jaws… and bit his tongue occasionally as she kissed him. Nakatsu flinched…but somehow…he did not wish to protest…besides…his hands were bound…there was no point fighting.  
Also…now that he knew Jacq was actually a girl…his mind didn't seem so confused anymore. _I'm not gay!!! I'm normal!!! …I don't know how I did it…but I somehow sensed the 'female' side of Jacq despite her great disguise…and I fell in love with 'that'. I still can't believe you're really a girl, Jacq…how did you get past so many pairs of eyes? …I'm so impressed… God!!! I love you even more now…more than EVER!!!!! Kiss me Jacq, hurt me Jacq…do whatever you want with me!!!_

As he wished…she continued to kiss him sadistically and started removing his upper clothing… Clawing at his chest with her nails, she began to create long cuts on his skin. Before long…blood appeared on Nakatsu's chest and he moaned with pain yet pleasure…. It was as if he himself didn't matter anymore…all that mattered was that Jacq was a girl and that he can finally love her 'normally'…. He didn't give a damn how much his tongue and chest were hurting right now…nothing mattered except Jacq…

"..H-hurt me more Jacq…do whatever you want to me! Because…because…I love you!!"

"…Don't talk rubbish with me Hokuto…if you loved me…you wouldn't have been with that stranger! Don't lie to me!!!" Anger rose within her and she twisted his arm further behind his head with his wrists still bound.

He bit back his scream in case if he woke up the rest of the dorm and endured her torture…. She bit his shoulder, ripped his pants, scratched his face and punched his stomach…all the while…Nakatsu endured and stayed silent…only except for the occasional moan or grunt when the pain became too unbearable.

After half-an-hour of torture and also bitter tears, Jacq used up the energy she had and collapsed on top of Nakatsu. She soon fell asleep from exhaustion, sorrow and intoxication.

-----P-----

Her head felt heavy and dizzy as she woke with confusion the next morning. It was Sunday and yet…to Jacq…it felt that too many days had gone by since she found out about Umeda's betrayal…

_God!! Where am I?_

Lifting herself up, she suddenly realized that she was lying on someone else's body… _…Oh my god!! Nakatsu?!!! Oh shoot!! What did I do last night? I hope I didn't…no…I don't think I did………But…OH NOOO!!! I'm half naked!! That means…ahhhh!! Nakatsu found out about my secret!!! Oh my god!! What did I do? What did I say to him?? …I am such an IDIOT getting myself drunk like that!!! …Oh geez…I even tied him up and scratched him all over!!! What was I DOING??!!!_

Feeling like the worst person in the world, Jacq rose up and leaned over to untie him.  
He woke.  
He stared at Jacq's flawless neck and tried to refrain himself…but failed…. He then leaned forward and tenderly kissed her jugular notch. She pulled back a little but his hands were already untied..and he pulled her close to him and pressed her chest against his. Kissing her forehead he said,

"I-I can't believe this is true Jacq…you really are a girl…and such a beautiful and courageous one…. You were so cruel to me last night…yet…I don't know…but I can't help but love you _because_ of it! Even though it seems you like Umeda-sensei…but I will not give up on you!"

Withdrawing a little from his arms, Jacq responded,

"Don't Nakatsu! I can't! …I don't love y –"

"You might say that now. But things change…. I mean, last night you unconsciously let me in on the fact that Umeda-sensei hurt you and went to see another guy…. Doesn't this suggest something about how much he really loves you? …I don't want to seem like I'm backstabbing him or anything…but perhaps it just isn't possible to change him from a homosexual to a bi no matter how much you've done for him. …Let me be the man to turn your head Jacq…I will make you mine to treasure and love…if you would have me…"

Jacq stared into Nakatsu's earnest and faithful eyes and couldn't help but feel her chest tighten.

"…But you're so awkward and clumsy Nakatsu…I prefer a more confident and suave guy like Hokuto…you're not the type I love…"

"…Then I'll change for you! I'll do that because I want you! I have admired you ever since the first day we met and now I love you more than ever!! You are the girl I always wanted and I'll make sure that I will become the guy you crave for! I will make you happy!"

Smiling to herself, _That's exactly my point Nakatsu…you rarely have a firm opinion and your sense of insecurity makes you indecisive and changeable…thus making you awkward. 'Sigh', you're not the guy for me…. Yet…I want to see how hard you'll try to pursue me…I want to see what you've got up your sleeve and also how much passion and determination you have in your heart. …Am I too cruel? Maybe I am…but I really don't want to think about Hokuto right now…and perhaps you can help me with that…perhaps you can……_

-----P-----

"Ok, tilt your head back for me and incline it slightly towards me to look at the camera. …That's it…. Perfect!"

Akiha ordered one of his workers to give Umeda a chair.

"Now sit _backwards_ on the chair with one leg on either side…and slouch forwards on the chair-back…good…look at me…hold the bottle with loose fingers… Ok!"

After an hour and a half of such torture (as Umeda would regard it), it was time to wrap up for the day…

"Brilliant job senpai!! You were sooo sexy!! I totally captured all your suaveness, cool, and seductiveness! It was a really successful first session!"

"Well…I'm not looking forward to the next one…it was like being _told_ how to move and position myself…as if I was a puppet or something!"

"Aww…senpai…"

"Don't! Don't touch me you scum!"

"Senpai…don't you like spending time with me? …Don't you treasure our intimacy? It's our fate…you can't deny it…"

Umeda shuddered…, "Look…if you're going to make me sick like that, I'm really not coming for any more photoshoots. I'd rather spend my precious time at a gym than here with you and your abhorrent words!"

"Alright, alright sweet senpai…I'll _try_ not to…but it seems that whenever I see you my tongue just can't resist…but I'll try for your sake. …Although…I can't promise anything."

"You better try if you ever want me to look at you differently! At the rate you're going, I would never consider y –"

Suddenly stopping, Umeda's annoyed expression was abruptly replaced by a melancholy and disappointed on. Akiha noticed…

"What's the matter senpai? Did I do something or said something wrong again?"

"…N-no…it's not you…it's something else…"

Frowning with concern, Akiha wanted to ask further but thought better of it. _He has his worries…I should leave him be_

Meanwhile, within Umeda's mind, he was struggling with his thoughts and feelings once again… _Why did I say that? Was I so jealous that I would resort to that pathetic Akiha and try to let him relieve me of my heartbreak? I'm so useless!! How could I have thought that?!! That's NOT me!!! Damn!! My jealousy is subconsciously taking over my usual calmness and sense!! I have to pull myself together!!!_

-----P-----

"Do you want to go to a bar senpai?"

"…No…just drive me back to the school."

Trees and buildings flashed by as Akiha's _Porsche 911 Carrera 4_ sped along the interweaving streets of the city. It was a beautiful Sunday…yet…Umeda's face remained grim and solemn.

As they pulled up at the school, Nanba was just running out the front gate and seemed to be preoccupied with something. Then he saw Akiha's car and stopped.

"Hey Akiha, pretty flash car you've got there."

"Yeah…just got it last month. I was just taking Umeda back from a ph –"

"Anyway, what's happening Nanba? You seem busy today," Umeda interrupted. It wasn't like he wanted the whole world knowing that he was modelling for the one person he despised…

_Sighing with a smile_ "…Since I'm such a nice and generous guy…I'll tell you. Well…the city is going to hold a Stage Rally out in the country next weekend, and I'm just heading over to the central city to sort out a few things out."

"..A Stage Rally? You mean with race cars?"

"Yeah. …Look, I've got to go. Just one thing…only staff and students of selected high schools can attend, so I've got to apply _fast_!! Anyway, I really think you should consider entering Umeda…if you don't…that means you are too afraid of me…. Alright, catch you guys later."

As Nanba sped off, Umeda glared and called after him,

"Me afraid of you? In your dreams Nanba!"

"Then PROVE it to me Umeda!!" Nanba shouted back.

_Tsk…_ "That guy is so full of himself."

_Chuckles_ "You know…he's right. You should enter. I mean…it could be fun! Also…well…I'll cheer for you in the crowd if you enter…"

"…God! Now I _really_ don't want to enter anymore."

-----P-----

_KNOCK, KNOCK!!_ "Get up Jacq and Nakatsu!! It's already 11am!!"

Jumping up from bed, Jacq threw Nakatsu some clothes and got dressed herself in twenty seconds. Even though it was only Taiki knocking…she really didn't want any 'suspicions'…

"What's up Taiki?" Jacq asked as she opened the door.

"Nanba just came over here to tell us that he's going to go to the central city to apply our school for this Stage Rally next weekend. It's going to be held in the countryside… oh, and before he left, he told us to discuss who would want to enter. So…what do you say Jacq and Nakatsu?"

Still just a tiny bit dizzy from the previous night's alcohol, Jacq couldn't quite decide…

"…Sorry Taiki…could you let us think about it for a moment or two? You know, we just woke up and the first thing you want us to do is make a decision…. Would you at least give us a minute?"

Both Taiki and Jacq stared at Nakatsu…at how he managed to say such a mature and considerate thing…

"Uhh…ok…I'll come back later then…"

Not wanting to make the situation awkward, Jacq immediately reacted,

"N-no! It's alright Taiki. Come in, I'm interested!"

As Taiki walked in, he noticed the untidy lower bunk but the virtually untouched upper bed…he frowned with suspicion…but said nothing.

"Anyway, so it's like a race car thing isn't it?" asked Jacq.

"…Yes, that's right. It's a Stage Rally, which means that there are different stages to the race track with different challenges. Nanba said that each dorm will have two teams and each team will have 6 people in it. This means that there will be 12 people competing for each of the three dorms. Whichever team wins…that dorm will win."

"So each dorm has two chances of winning since it has two teams?"

"Yeah, that's right Jacq…so…are you two interested? Nanba said that we could pick the members of the teams ourselves. Actually, Nanba himself is participating…so we really don't want to let him down since he's so keen on this."

"Hmm…. Ok…. Six people per team…. Well, there's Mizuki, Sano, Me, Nakatsu, and you. We just need one more person…. Ah! How about Nakao?"

_Sniggers_ "Nakao? He doesn't know anything about sports cars! You expect him to compete? …Besides…if he really was to compete…he'd want to be Nanba's co-driver. Oh! That's the other thing I forgot to mention. With each team we are given 3 cars, one car for each of the 3 'stages' of the race track. So there will be two people per car and that makes 6 people per team. So there will be a driver and a co-driver for each car. The co-driver is like the navigator for the driver. They use a computerized odometer and a route book to communicate to the driver what lied ahead in the race course as clearly as possible. These include warnings for hazards like cliffs, trees and junctions. Thus, the driver can control what speed and angle to enter each turn in the road by listening to their co-driver's constant instructions."

"Wow Taiki…that sounded so professional…"

_Ahem_ "Well, actually…this was what Nanba told us…. I just have an exceptionally good memory and remembered practically word for word what he said…that's all…"

_Laughs_ "Ok Taiki. So there are two people per car, three cars per team and two teams for each dorm. When you said there will be three stages…what did you mean?" asked Jacq.

"Well…Nanba just told us that it gets harder as you go…. He guessed that the first stage might be dry, barren bushland; the second stage might be forest-like with pits and holes; and the last stage could be something muddy, swampy and slippery. That's all he knows so far."

"Hmm….how about we wait till Nanba comes back and let him put us in pairs and then into teams? I mean…it's really a group thing isn't it?" Nakatsu suggested.

"…Yeah…alright…we'll wait for him to come back then." Replied Taiki.

-----P-----

"I'm back!! Gather round here everyone!!"

Nanba's voice rung through the corridors of the dorm as he announced his 'glorious' return. As everyone tried to file into the corridor to listen, Nanba suddenly exclaimed,

"Wait! I forgot someone! Don't move! I'll be right back!"

A minute later, he came back…dragging…Umeda behind him.

"Alright everyone! I'm sorry that I said that you could choose the 2 teams for our dorm and also the pairings…but I decided to sort the entire thing out myself. Ok, listen up!

For our dorm TEAM 1 will be:  
Sano and Mizuki in Car 1 – Mizuki as co-driver  
Jacq and Kayashima in Car 2 – Kayashima as co-driver  
Nakatsu and Umeda in Car 3 – Umeda as co-driver

TEAM 2 will be:  
A staff and Sekime in Car 1 – Sekime as co-driver

Noe and another staff in Car 2 – the staff as co-driver

Me and….._cough_ Nakao in Car 3 – Nakao as co-driver…."

"What the hell??!!! Me and Umeda sensei? Are you out of your mind? …NEVER!!!" Nakatsu protested.

"Ooo! I'm with Nanba senpai!!! I'm so lucky!! Oh god, I think I'm going to faint…it's too much…my legs have gone numb…!!"

"Sano…I'm with you? I'm not very good with cars at all…what if I disappoint you? What am I going to do? How coul –"

"Don't worry Mizuki, I teach you how to read route books and everything. You'll be fine.."

Everyone was talking…mostly complaining why they didn't get picked…the entire corridor was filled with yelling and angry voices….

"QUIET!!!!!" _gradual silence_ "Now…if anyone is not satisfied with my pairing…please speak up. But be warned…if you don't have a good reason…your punishment is dorm-chores for a month!!"

At this point…everyone shut their mouths. Except…Nakatsu….

"Nanba senpai! I CAN'T be paired with Umeda sensei! It's just…just…impossible!!! He won't be a good co-driver…and I don't think I could listen to him! He's so uncooperative! He might not even warn me of dangers ahead and expect me to do all the work! …Why can't I be paired with…with…Jacq? Then let Taiki go with Umeda…Taiki would be able to put up with Umeda better than me…."

Jacq and Taiki both laughed. They understood Nakatsu's frustration and sympathized with his situation…but frankly…no one wanted to be with Umeda sensei…. Jacq would have really wanted to a day ago…but right now…she wanted to have nothing to do with him.

_Sorry Nakatsu…but I can't help you right now… I'm not sure if Nanba would end up pairing me with Umeda if I'm not careful…. I still need some time to recover and get over him. He doesn't deserve my forgiveness and he won't get it so easily!! I don't even want to look at him right now…_

Coincidentally…Umeda was thinking the same thing…

_I really don't want to go with you Nakatsu…do you think I 'want' to be paired up with you? You'd be the last person…apart from Akiha. But right now…I'd rather be paired up with you than with Jacq…and if I'm not careful…you may end up with Taiki and I'll end up with Jacq! Hell!! I don't want that at all!!! So just be content that you're with me, Nakatsu…_

"…Nakatsu…I have my reasons with every pairing alright? Just accept that and I'm sure you will work well with Umeda sensei."

_Tsk_ "I really don't agree Nanba…why _him_ of all people? Why?"

Ignoring Nakatsu, Nanba handed out badges for the competitors, to be worn on the day of the rally.

"Look after it and don't lose it! If you feel that you have not the ability to keep it safe…give it to me now and I'll return it to you on the day."

Staring at his badge…_Dorm 2, Team 1, Car 3 – driver_…Nakatsu sighed with bitterness. _Why can't I be with Jacq? Damnit!!_

As everyone dispersed and went back to their rooms, Jacq walked past Umeda as she headed outside for some fresh air…. Shooting him a cold and resentful glance, Jacq treated him like a worthless ant. As for him…he was certainly a match for her when it comes to a cruel look of contempt…..

Just like that, they brushed past each other…not as team-mates, not as lovers…but as two people filled with hatred and resentment. Each thinking that the other one betrayed them. Wanting to beat the other and not be the first to ask for forgiveness or explanations…the only thing they could give one another is…brutality.

Through their eyes, there was only one thing they conveyed…

_You want my forgiveness? Then explain and apologize!!_

-------------------------------------------------------------

**A/N(end):** This truly is the LAST chapter I will personally write on this story…I will miss writing for you all!!

Since 'blacksinger' is continuing my story for me…please support her as well!!! I will be very grateful to you!!

I will act as 'blacksinger's spelling and grammar checker. So still expect the practically error-free chapters you've always been getting from me! Hehe!

I look forward to working with 'blacksinger' and hope you all will continue to support this story!!! Thank you!!!


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